What do you do with a submissive that will not listen.. or says something inappropriate.. or fails to complete a task…

You guessed it. It’s time for the dom to step in and correct the behavior. This can take many forms depending on the submissive and what they enjoy and dislike. Intensity is also a factor. Take this scenario… a sub that enjoys getting spanked misbehaves. Do you spank them? Most would think no, use a different punishment. But the devious dom (me) would spank them. At first they enjoyed it.. then a little less.. now they are openly weeping and pleading.. then they are promising never to do it again. A second example.. the sub realy likes toys. Tie them up and tie a toy pressed hard against them. Turn it on and leave the room. Check in on them in an hour and see of they are sorry yet. Or still able to form coherent thought. Using this method of turning something the submissive enjoys into a punishment avoids the paradox of punishing a submissive. I refer to the idea that you cant punish a sub that enjoys the punishment.

This is something doms with a massocist sub especially have to deal with. How do you punish if they enjoy the pain? Simple.. dont give it to them. Ignore them. This is by far one of the most cruel things a dom can do to a sub. Or make them write an apology to themselves for being so disobedient and causing themselves suffering. (This can work wonders)

Punishments can range over a widespread spectrum of things from writing…

To spanking..

To being tight laced into a corset for a set period of time.

To corner time..

To sexual acts that the submissive doesn’t like or are painful.

To pubic humiliation…

Part of the dread that a submissive feels when they are told they are going to be punished is the anticipation and not knowing what the dom will do.

Delaying punishment is another technique that works well. Telling the submissive that they will be punished and showing your displeasure but not telling them when leaves them to stew on the feelings of failure and disappointment. This can be worse than the actual punishment. Left for long enough the punishment may become a relief from the feelings of guilt. A just punishment helps the submissive to let go of guilt and move forward without all the lingering feelings you find in a more vanilla relationship.

Now let’s talk about a different aspect of punishment. What is the difference between punishment and play. Punishment is designed to modify a bad behavior. Play may use similar elements and sometimes be just as intense, but play is designed to stimulate and increase the feelings of submission in the sub. A lot of it is the headspace the dom guides the submissive into.

After the punishment it is important to talk to the submissive. Explain what they did wrong and how their actions effect your dynamic, themselves, and their dom. Talking after punishment is an essential part of the process. It shows that you care and reinforces the lesson.

Aftercare is particularly important after punishment. Often the worst part of any punishment for a submissive is the feeling of failure and disappointment. It is important that the submissive is not left to spiral down and is made to feel cared about even after makeing a mistake.

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps someone out there.

Best wishes -SirHanz

12 thoughts on “Punishment.

  1. Reprimand, Reward, compassion ♥️ it seems this is be mutually beneficial to the dom/sub relationship and honestly should be utilized in most adult partnerships, maybe not to the level of which you speak about, but communication, honesty, compassion and complete acceptance would definitely add to a couples relationship. I think those outside of d/s, me included, often neglect the wants and needs of our spouses and then wonder why it failed. Attention to your commitment & offering a sacred trust, should result in building a more fulfilling & deep connection in & outside the bedroom, right? ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely. In a vanilla relationship it is all to easy to forget to do these things. The advantage to the D/s relationship is it’s hard to forget the commitment and trust of a sub when they are waiting for you naked with a glass of wine when you get home from work. 😁 a lot of relationships fail because both parties get busy, get distracted, and neglect the other’s needs. And there is no rules or system in place to spell out how that should be handled. In a D/s dynamic I have found communication is a lot easier and problems arise less often because of the rules and expectations both parties agree to before ever getting together.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That makes perfect sense to me. Unfortunately in, vanilla relationships, life 100% gets in the way and our relationships always suffer, as they tend to come last. How do you maintain that type of commitment, when as parents we are unable to be waiting at the door naked with wine daily or even weekly? I guess my question is how do you follow or set rules/requirements/expectations to be met when you are trying to raise a family? The obvious answer is after the children are sleeping, when they are at school or a sleepover but in reality schedules typically don’t allow for much adult alone time together most days?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. There are quite a few ways. My example was more for couples without children obviously, but for those with children you just have a different kind of dynamic. The rules are just different. They may even have two sets of rules, one for when the kids are around and one for when they are not. When the kids are around the sub may be required to dress a certain way or to even do a sexual task in the other room and text a picture of it to their partner while the partner takes care of the kids. Another example may be something like haveing a specific routine they are to follow in the morning or when they shower. There are also small moments throughout the day where they may get a few moments to play. What matters is not the time your vanilla life takes up its makeing shure to recognize and take advantage of the time you have. Kids definitely dont make it easy but nothing with kids is usually easy. And as parents we understand that. But knowing that it’s not haveing less time to play that hurts dynamics when they have kids. It’s recognizing there was a moment or a bit of time they could have played and their partner chose not to for whatever reason. That creates resentment as one or both parties in the dynamic begins to feel neglected.

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