What do you do with a submissive that will not listen.. or says something inappropriate.. or fails to complete a task…
You guessed it. It’s time for the dom to step in and correct the behavior. This can take many forms depending on the submissive and what they enjoy and dislike. Intensity is also a factor. Take this scenario… a sub that enjoys getting spanked misbehaves. Do you spank them? Most would think no, use a different punishment. But the devious dom (me) would spank them. At first they enjoyed it.. then a little less.. now they are openly weeping and pleading.. then they are promising never to do it again. A second example.. the sub realy likes toys. Tie them up and tie a toy pressed hard against them. Turn it on and leave the room. Check in on them in an hour and see of they are sorry yet. Or still able to form coherent thought. Using this method of turning something the submissive enjoys into a punishment avoids the paradox of punishing a submissive. I refer to the idea that you cant punish a sub that enjoys the punishment.
This is something doms with a massocist sub especially have to deal with. How do you punish if they enjoy the pain? Simple.. dont give it to them. Ignore them. This is by far one of the most cruel things a dom can do to a sub. Or make them write an apology to themselves for being so disobedient and causing themselves suffering. (This can work wonders)
Punishments can range over a widespread spectrum of things from writing…
To being tight laced into a corset for a set period of time.
To corner time..
To sexual acts that the submissive doesn’t like or are painful.
To pubic humiliation…
Part of the dread that a submissive feels when they are told they are going to be punished is the anticipation and not knowing what the dom will do.
Delaying punishment is another technique that works well. Telling the submissive that they will be punished and showing your displeasure but not telling them when leaves them to stew on the feelings of failure and disappointment. This can be worse than the actual punishment. Left for long enough the punishment may become a relief from the feelings of guilt. A just punishment helps the submissive to let go of guilt and move forward without all the lingering feelings you find in a more vanilla relationship.
Now let’s talk about a different aspect of punishment. What is the difference between punishment and play. Punishment is designed to modify a bad behavior. Play may use similar elements and sometimes be just as intense, but play is designed to stimulate and increase the feelings of submission in the sub. A lot of it is the headspace the dom guides the submissive into.
After the punishment it is important to talk to the submissive. Explain what they did wrong and how their actions effect your dynamic, themselves, and their dom. Talking after punishment is an essential part of the process. It shows that you care and reinforces the lesson.
Aftercare is particularly important after punishment. Often the worst part of any punishment for a submissive is the feeling of failure and disappointment. It is important that the submissive is not left to spiral down and is made to feel cared about even after makeing a mistake.
Thanks for reading and I hope this helps someone out there.
Best wishes -SirHanz