Thanksgiving… no thanks.

As I sit wakeing this morning from a bad dream and wallowing in insecurity I wonder if I will even bother to do anything for the holidays. Hell… the whole reason I cook for Thanksgiving is for the pleasure of the one I am with. This year… the stove will be cold. Cooking a big meal is another form of art for me. Juggling times and temperatures,  spice and ingredient, each comeing together to form a beautiful balance of flavor.
 sigh and this year… there is no joy in it. I doubt I will cook so much as a biscuit. It just feels wrong if there is no joy in the kitchen.  So I will go to work.. like any other day. Come home… have a salad then to bed. And try to forget the day is any different from any other.
 I will put up the Christmas tree some time the week after because cookie likes it. But I doubt I will even take time off for Christmas.  Why bother? So I can sit at home wishing I had someone to spend it with? Pass.
 Dont get me wrong.. I love the holidays. The joy and celebration are something I charish. And their in lays the problem.  It’s all about sharing time and being close. Shared experience of being happy doing things together.. which I love. And that is missing this year. Doing holiday things without the one you care about just makes you feel more lonely than ever. So yah.. I wont be watching xmas movies or bakeing savory treats this year. It would just make me sad. Just thinking about it hurts. I’m shure one day I will recapture that joy. But this year will be hard.

Best wishes-SirHanz

7 thoughts on “Thanksgiving… no thanks.

    1. Yah. That’s cookie monster. Cookie when he is good monster when he’s not. It’s not that I am not open to new things if life gives me the opportunity. I would joyfully embrace it. But magic 8 ball says chances slim to none. Thanks for the careing comment though.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. =(

    Understand your pain of feeling alone and not wanting to cook. Went through a draught of not cooking at all for several years before I started cooking somewhat regularly. Maybe not a full course Thanksgiving meal, just a small cornish hen with some carmelized carrots to appreciate you. Share your moments with Cookie for now and one day in the future someone special will join you and share the fun and love together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😏 I’m vegetarian. And allergic to soy. So no toferky for me anyway. I usually make curry. And pie and glazed pears and crescents and whatever other mad science creations I think up that year. But just not feeling it this year. I would make something for cookie but he is on a diet 🤣 he was getting a little chubby. Feeling a bit better now but still have no desire to cook. And besides.. I like salad.😏 thanks for the kind words though.

      Like

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