The “nice guy” paradox.

I have recently come to learn that “nice guy” on social media has been ruined by men using that moniker to camouflage predatory behavior.  Now even if you actually are nice you cant say so or you may be labeled a predator. Pretending to be nice and helpful to try to get into some girls pants. And the sad part is.. I cant even blame ladies for avoiding guys who claim to be a “nice guy” because it seems the predators outnumber those that are actually nice! And I feel suspect every time I say something supportive or kind! Wow… think about that. Apparently now the only way to be seen as genuine is to be an ass. Is this what the future will be? Nice guys pretending to be assholes so they will be seen as genuine and can get their foot in the door to show though their actions they are not really an asshole?
 Seriously.. this is sooo fucked up. If your nice… you have to lie about being nice. But if your actually genuinely nice you dont want to lie and get labeled a predator.  So you are forced to keep your trap shut and let your actions do the talking…… so what is a nice guy to do? Say nothing and only post pictures of himself helping people and being nice? That would look pretty fake wouldn’t it?
 So here is my take away from all of this… we cant win. The “nice guy” has been painted into a corner with little hope to show he is not an asshat trying to get into your pants by pretending to be kind and romantic.  So I say fuck it. I’m gonna just be me. I own who I am flaws and all. But I am nice. And I will continue trying to be nice. And if I get painted as a predator for it… just going to block those people and move on. If you dont take the time to get to know me before throwing accusations that could ruin my chances of getting to know some good people… well… you may be genuine.. but your not nice. Thank you for showing your true colors so I can avoid you.
 So that’s it… rant over. I will be hideing in the corner drinking my tea. And if you need help but are so self centered as to think any guy trying to help you wants to be repaid with sex… find a predator to help you. At least he will deserve to get throat punched for helping to change your tire on the roadside. I’ll keep on driving and wish you luck. But if your bleeding out I will do my best to staunch the wound. And when I get slapped for doing it, I will nod and move on knowing I did something good.. and for me… that’s enough.

Best wishes -sirhanz

5 thoughts on “The “nice guy” paradox.

  1. Oh dear based on this I am dooming my poor child to a life in the friend zone. I have been drilling into him over and over about respecting women. That no is a big firm no. I refuse to send an asshole out into the world. And I will say that I for one would gladly welcome assistance. I don’t know how to do everything and I like to learn. And please don’t give up if I am bleeding out I doubt I would be in any shape to hit you. Unfortunately just as men give men a bad name so do women do so with other women. Ah well I for one do appreciate help. Thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry if this came across as a generalization of all ladies attitudes. And thank you for not being “one of those” lol. Its admirable you are impressing the importance of values like being nice and a gentleman on your son. There are clearly not enough nice men in the world.


      1. I have had several frank talks with him and to hit it home hard used myself as an example when asking questions/explaining to him. Really makes a difference when they think of someone maybe doing that to their mom. Or sister.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think, good sir, that you have unwittingly stumbled upon the very solution to the perceived problem here that us women have been asking for from the get go. “You are forced to keep your trap shut and let your actions do the talking” is exactly it. Let your actions speak louder than your words. How you treat people, how you conduct yourself in interactions with people, is more important than labeling yourself. In my experience on this planet, nice people typically don’t go around bragging about being nice people. And the ones that loudly insist to everyone they meat that they are, in fact, nice people, are usually not. It’s not about “REAL nice guys” getting obscured by predators that are pretending to be “nice guys”… its more that the people that feel the need to brag about how nice they are are usually the people who have deluded themselves into thinking they are nice even while they treat people like garbage. If you really are nice, people will notice, I promise. You don’t need to TELL people are you nice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. And always think actions speak louder than words. The problem happens when being nice not just saying that you are nice is taken as possible predatory behavior. And I agree most people that are nice dont advise the fact. Because they dont have to. But it’s still annoying to have the option taken from you to describe yourself in say.. a bio.. as nice. If it is an accurate description but you cant use the word because some people that also use it are actually asshats.. its annoying. Think about a word.. any word… that you would use to describe yourself. Now think about being asked to describe yourself but being forbidden to use that word. My first thought is “who are you to tell me I cant use a word that accurately describes myself? ” and second thought is “dammit.. now I have to think of a word that means the same thing but is not offensive yet.” Shure.. I could think of a dozen different words. But the point is.. I shouldn’t have to.


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