Tag: Submissive

Thinking about not thinking

Breathe into my heart,

Fill my lungs with your touch,

Show me you intoxicating smell,

Feed me your attention,

Let me feel you words,

Let me listen to your lust,

Drown me in the taste of your memories,

Shackle me with your gaze,

Hold me in your tender thoughts,

Your vary presence,

Mixes my senses,

I am spiraling into you,

Trying to resist…

Is like thinking about not thinking.

-SirHanz

A switch in dream.

It was cold… I shivered as her silk gloved hand dragged the icecube down my chest. I could feel the slight wetness left behind by its passage. I shivered.. not at the chill, but at her warm breath traceing the same path.

It is dark behind the strip of cloth that has taken my sight. I wish I could see her.. is she smiling? I can smell the amber sent of her.. she must be close. I can feel the ache slowly spreading in my shoulders, the rope biteing my skin. My hands are pulled behind me and tied, the rope running beneath the chair. There is another strip of cloth around my neck, securing my head to the high back of the chair. I can feel her fingers.. caressing.. teaseing.. move along the line of my collar of cloth.

I could feel the drag of rope along my thigh.. the pressure as it was pulled tight. First one.. then the other.. my legs pulled apart.. she must have pulled it beneath the chair. I can feel the added tension in my wrists.

I smiled, looking down at her. Her legs spread.. her back arched as her arms were held behind the chair… gorgeous. I kneeled before her, takeing her ankle into my hand… positioning it next to the chair leg. I worked quickly, the loops of jute seeming to fly from my fingertips. A steady pull..a jerk as knots held her fast to the oak. Stepping back I examined my handiwork. The chair was positioned exactly two feet from the bed, the spacing was important for what I had in mind.

What a work of art.. her mouth just slightly open.. her pulse quick in the hollow of her throat… the swell of her bust laid bare.. the blush that was creeping up her neck to her cheeks..

I could feel the blush riseing, what would she do? All the possibilities stretched out before me.. each more tantalizing than the.. wait.. her hand was apon my chest. A shove and I was falling backwards in darkness. The world seems to twist and spin. Falling.. I was falling! Muscles clench as I brace for the impact. Fear fills my brain telling me to run, to get away.. but there is no impact. No sudden pain, only the soft catch of the edge of the bed. I can feel the coolness of the sheets beneath the back of my head.

I try to relax but my hummingbird heart is haveing none of it. I can feel the chair shift as she moves apon the bed. Again.. the amber.. she is close. Her lips touch mine.. I can feel her softness, she tastes like coffee. Then she is gone, leaving lingering warmth. Her lips touch my ear..

I whisper “I am going to use you.” I can feel the heat run through her as I cup her chin in my hand. I kneel above her, my thumb resting at the corner of her mouth. Shadows cast by candle light play and dance across her. Yes.. I want her. Her body.. yes.. but more.. I want her heart. With firm pressure I open her mouth. She is breathing faster knowing what is to come.. but I make her wait. Let her feel the hardness of me resting against her lips. Slowly.. yes.. ever so slowly.. I sink past her lips. The chair glistens between her thighs. She moans, trying to pull me deeper. With a sudden thrust…

I push my tounge deeper. I cannot see.. and cannot hear with her thighs clamped tight to the sides of my head. I want to struggle.. to grab her and pull her to me. But my bonds are tight. She presses down, grinding herself apon me. I am for her.. to use for her pleasure. Unspoken words ring loudly in my head as I feel the wetness flood my mouth.

She is not done.. even as she shudders against me her hands are firm apon my shoulders.. needing.. demanding.. more..

I could only try to give her what she demanded. She pushed herself downward once again, rocking back and forth.. her delicate lips filling my mouth with sweet nectar.

I was hard once more as I slowly drew myself up and away.. a Groan of longing spilled from her as I left her warmth. A tiny thread of saliva dripped from her chin to land glittering apon her chest. I moved to stand before the chair and slowly started to undo the bindings. I worked upward, traceing my fingertips across the marks left apon her skin. “Please… I need you…” her soft voice seemed to fill the whole of my reality. But I would not be rushed. As I freed her wrists her arms came up to encircle me, pulling me down into her waiting lips. Her kiss was fire.. firce.. filled with pent up longing and need. With a gentle push I freed myself from the all consuming blaze. I cut the rope running beneath the chair, leaving the binding around her thighs.

Lastly I retrieved my gift from the drawer at the bedside. Laying it flat apon my hand I held it before her and with a deft twist removed the blindfold.

I could see.. my body was sore.. and burning with need. I blinked.. trying to adjust to the dim light. My eyes found hers.. I drank her in like a man on the verge of death. And then she lifted her gift into my view. Longing, lust, love, frustration, acceptance.. spilled slowly down my cheeks as I looked at the collar she held. It was simple.. yet complex.. all at the same time. Like me… I thought.

The floodgates opened. My heart unfolded into her hands. I tore at the cloth that still held my neck to the chair and fell to my knees before her. My eyes blurred with emotion, she lifted my chin to look at her. She knelt.. fastening the collar around my neck. A single tear like a falling star flowed down her perfect face.

And that’s when she saw it.. a collar.. identical to the one I had just clasped around her. Graced my own neck. It was too much… she threw herself into my arms, weeping and kissing my face. She pushed me back apon the bed, rolling over and pulling me into her as she kissed me. We were both lost. She clenched around me, wrapping her legs around my ass to pull me deeper. She jerked and twisted, clawing at my back…. her breath was short… her chest heaved… we rolled..

She grabs my face, pulling it to her breast as she rides me.. we dance.. finding the steps as we go. Each movement without thought leading to the next. I have lost track of her orgasms…3..8? It doesn’t matter. She sucks with greedy abandon apon my fingers as our rythem gains speed. Pulling her down to lay atop me I lift my knees and thrust harder.. grinding against her hips. He legs begin to shake.. she is close. Lifting her face to mine our lips meet just as she cries out her final victory. Her voice pours into me even as I pour into her.

We lay panting in the disheveled sheets.. Bodies slick with sweat, relishing the cool air. I pull her against me.. amber.. and salt.. kissing her neck I ask..”will you keep me?”

The alarm goes off. Dog barks at the alarm.. dammit.. too soon! Take me back! I need to know what she said!

I bury my face in the pillow.. groaning in frustration. “Fuck that was intence..” I peek at the light just starting to drift through the window. So vivid.. I need to write.. but first.. tea.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Q&A answers.. er.. answer.

So.. apparently only one person bothered to ask a question… so I will do my best to dive deeply into that question instead of answering a bunch of them.

Q: what is your ideal “perfect” submissive

A: hmm.. I have given this a lot of thought as of late. I will start with the short answer and then give the long.

1. She must inspire me.

2. She must make me want to be better.

3. She must make me want to do naughty things with her.

4. She must WANT me to do naughty thing with her.

I have answered this before on the blog but never really gone into depth on the subject. Let’s dive in.

Inspiration. This is something I crave as deeply as affection. Creativity is something I have always felt is an essential part of myself. But I enjoy it the most and do my best work when inspired. I love the feeling of intense focus and almost frenetic energy when I am working on something with a clear vision of what I want to create. If I find the right muse… who knows.. maybe I will paint again.

Wanting to be better. This is not just wanting personal growth. That is a part of it but this is more.. this is the desire to be the best version of myself so that I may find myself worthy of their submission.

Wanting to do naughty things. I am a lover of beauty. And I need to be attracted to my submissive. But that is only part of this. It is also the mind behind the beauty. The intelligence and wit that pulls me in. It is the seductive way she looks at me. The deliberate movement ment to entice. Whispered words that heat my blood. A tease with promised rewards..

Wanting me. This is as important as any of the other things I have talked about. Maybe more. I need to know that it’s not just my skill or experience that she wants.. but the whole of me. I want my face to bring her joy, my touch.. exquisite pleasure. I want her to see me.. the way I see her. And want me just as badly.

I may have found such a woman.. she is beyond my expectations for my first three requirements. The last… only she can know. There are complications.. she is not yet free to come to me. Responsibility to care for someone who needs it binds her, and it is not a situation I can fix. I must be patient and wait. But she is worth waiting for. Only time will tell if I have made the right decision. But I think I have. I have not felt this way in a long… long… time. But who knows what the future holds. Maybe it will fade.. but I dont see that as likely. It is a rare thing indeed to find one such person in a lifetime. If given the chance.. I will not waste it.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Anticipation

Its Saturday night, I have already done my exercise for the day and now I am board. . . . . So why not talk about bondage?😁 what shall we look at tonight.. how about… anticipation.

This can be both a wonderful thing ( butterfly’s before meeting someone you like) or a torture. (You know you did wrong, your dom knows.. but hasn’t done anything….. yet…) sometimes it can even make the actual punishment seem like a relief (dom said that they would punish you for your behavior… next week…and didnt tell you what your punishment was to be).

It can be the carrot (in a bdsm context this has a whole new meaning) or the stick (same meaning, different flavor)

You can anticipate a fun play time, or anticipate a punishment. And a skillful dom can use it like a surgeon to reshape behavior and focus the submissive on their submission.

Want your sub to stop doing something? Tell them you will not talk to them until you feel they are properly sorry for what they have done. Double whammy. They anticipate the relief when you finaly talk to them again. And they squerm because they dont know how long that will be or what they will have to do to make it right. Sadistic? Yer damm right. But like with any sadistic behavior you have to be careful how and to who you apply it. Some submissives respond well to it some do not and it can be crippling if applied to the wrong type of personality. Just one of the many reasons it is so incredibly important to get to know your sub.

Anticipating my next post?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

-SirHanz

Responsibility

This is a tough concept for some doms to wrap their head around. I’m not talking about paying Bills and other general adulting. Oh no.. I speak of the responsibility of a dom to his sub. That’s the deal you see.. the sub gives you power, control, pleasure, happiness. And in return the dom is responsible for the sub. But what does that mean?

It may change a bit from one dom to the next but here are the things it should always cover.

As a dom you are responsible for..

The general happiness of the submissive.

The continued growth of the submissive.

The health and fitness of the submissive.

The fulfillment of the submissives desires.

The safety of the submissive.

The mental health of the submissive.

Sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it? Well.. it is. A good domanent enjoys the work but it can still be exhausting. And I here you newer doms out there thinking “but wouldn’t that mean the dom is serving the sub?” In a way we do. But the difference is that everything we do is by our own will. We dont do these things because we are asked, or forced. We choose to take responsibility. And how we live up to those responsibilities is our choice.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Nice guy problems

So now that I am back on the market per say I am reminded of challenges I have faced in the past when trying to find a submissive partner. The foremost of these is that I am a nice guy.

Now usually that is an attractive quality in a man. But i have found that often in the bdsm community it is actually a hindrance. Especially if the submissive is new.

Correct me if i am wrong.. but i have noticed a lot of submissives build an image of their ideal dom in there head. If you are a single submissive reading this then take a moment and think about what this ideal dom looks and acts like..

I will bet you a spanking not one of you thought you wanted a nice guy. For some reason “nice” doesn’t mix with fantasy. And fantasy is how we choose reality. When is the last time someone held the door for you and you thought “damm I bet he is a good dom” …. nope. Not gonna happen. But when a guy is acting like he is entitled to the submission of everyone in the room then that’s hot? Why is that? The guy is obviously an asshat. But first impressions matter. And his first impression is “dom”. And the nice guy’s impression is “oh.. that was nice of him.. now let’s go back to looking at the dom”

Now I am not saying that all submissives want to be with an asshat. Some do, and to each their own. But most if you ask them what they want in a dom they will describe the nice guy.

So where’s the disconnect? Why want the nice caring dom and yet totally ignore him for the angry asshat? I have actually heard a submissive say “dont talk to him, he looks like he would be too nice.” *facepalm* seriously?? Now with online dating fortunately it forces you to write a profile and you can usually sort the good from the bad. But in person.. we dont come with a profile.

So next time your getting hit on by 3 doms at once and just loveing the attention, take a step back and notice the guy who was polite enough not to hit on you when you were already being bombarded by “submit to me now” instadoms. Because let me tell you.. more than likely, they dont want to make you happy.

Food for thought.

Best wishes. -SirHanz

Punishment.

What do you do with a submissive that will not listen.. or says something inappropriate.. or fails to complete a task…

You guessed it. It’s time for the dom to step in and correct the behavior. This can take many forms depending on the submissive and what they enjoy and dislike. Intensity is also a factor. Take this scenario… a sub that enjoys getting spanked misbehaves. Do you spank them? Most would think no, use a different punishment. But the devious dom (me) would spank them. At first they enjoyed it.. then a little less.. now they are openly weeping and pleading.. then they are promising never to do it again. A second example.. the sub realy likes toys. Tie them up and tie a toy pressed hard against them. Turn it on and leave the room. Check in on them in an hour and see of they are sorry yet. Or still able to form coherent thought. Using this method of turning something the submissive enjoys into a punishment avoids the paradox of punishing a submissive. I refer to the idea that you cant punish a sub that enjoys the punishment.

This is something doms with a massocist sub especially have to deal with. How do you punish if they enjoy the pain? Simple.. dont give it to them. Ignore them. This is by far one of the most cruel things a dom can do to a sub. Or make them write an apology to themselves for being so disobedient and causing themselves suffering. (This can work wonders)

Punishments can range over a widespread spectrum of things from writing…

To spanking..

To being tight laced into a corset for a set period of time.

To corner time..

To sexual acts that the submissive doesn’t like or are painful.

To pubic humiliation…

Part of the dread that a submissive feels when they are told they are going to be punished is the anticipation and not knowing what the dom will do.

Delaying punishment is another technique that works well. Telling the submissive that they will be punished and showing your displeasure but not telling them when leaves them to stew on the feelings of failure and disappointment. This can be worse than the actual punishment. Left for long enough the punishment may become a relief from the feelings of guilt. A just punishment helps the submissive to let go of guilt and move forward without all the lingering feelings you find in a more vanilla relationship.

Now let’s talk about a different aspect of punishment. What is the difference between punishment and play. Punishment is designed to modify a bad behavior. Play may use similar elements and sometimes be just as intense, but play is designed to stimulate and increase the feelings of submission in the sub. A lot of it is the headspace the dom guides the submissive into.

After the punishment it is important to talk to the submissive. Explain what they did wrong and how their actions effect your dynamic, themselves, and their dom. Talking after punishment is an essential part of the process. It shows that you care and reinforces the lesson.

Aftercare is particularly important after punishment. Often the worst part of any punishment for a submissive is the feeling of failure and disappointment. It is important that the submissive is not left to spiral down and is made to feel cared about even after makeing a mistake.

Thanks for reading and I hope this helps someone out there.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Kink 114

Submission.

The willingness of a submissive to open themselves to me and give up their will into my hands…. yes. This is my biggest kink.

I have saved this blog for last as i wanted to put a lot of thought into it. So take my hand and let me show you what submission is to me, and why it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

It all starts with desire.. the desire to let go… let go of control.. let go of fear.. let go of responsibilities.. let go of thought.. and just feel. No living in denial of secret needs.. no more haveing to wear the mask that you show the world. Completely free to be your deep down real self. The self that wants to be loved, protected, fucked, given honesty and trust, given permission to revel in your darkest desires and then comforted as you lay exhausted, the you that wants to just let go of everything knowing someone will let you just feel and keep you from harm, the you that wants all this more than anything but cant take the step off the cliff.

And that’s where the dominant comes in. We give that push. We push right up to the edge… then holding your hand… ask you to jump.

Through time and communication we build the trust that allows the submissive to no longer have to think about if it is something to fear or shy away from, it is enough to know that it is our will and to know we would never bring them to harm.

And when they let go and step smiling from the edge of the cliff.. *sigh* the word beauty is pale and sickly compared to how they look through my eyes.. there is no word that I can conjure that holds that feeling of awe. This gift.. so freely given.. this life.. cradled in ny hands.. extraordinary. To hold such control over another person, and know that they want that… it is both humbling and exaltent.

I could talk about what a submissive does or how they act but to me that’s not what makes submission such a kink to me. Shure.. I enjoy those things… quite a lot. But to me it’s the headspace.. the mindset.. that I find most exciting. Anyone can do what they are told. A submissive WANTS to do what they are told and gets pleasure from seeing their dom happy. Small gestures like a simple pat on the head or a “well done” mean the world to them. It’s not the words or the gesture that matter… it’s that they came from their dominant. It is the dominant showing his pleasure. And that… is something incredibly special to a submissive.

Many submissives work a long time to reach that mindset. It is part of the dominants enjoyment to teach and guide the submissive. Building them up to be the best version of themselves so they may choose to serve the dominant in more and better ways. It is a difficult road.. but the view is amazing.

For myself it all comes down to choice. Choosing to serve and learn under me is a huge thing to me. I take this responsibility vary seriously, but through it I find the unrestrained affection that I crave. It is the submissive that gives the dominant their power, their control. Without the choice and concent I have neither and would not seek to impose them. To me… forcing submission defeats the purpose. It is a gift. Freely given. Or it is not something I want. But that is just the start. Once the gift has been received and concent given.. I will push. I will dominate. And as long as it doesn’t violate a hard limit, I will absolutely force a submissive to do things. But there is a method.. a goal.. a reshaping of needs.. everything has a purpose.

And for me… that.. is my biggest kink. Submission.

Hope you enjoyed my dive into my own kink list… untill next time..

Best wishes -SirHanz