The first thing on my list of abominations is MANGO SALSA. That is not salsa! At best it’s chutney. At worst it is ruining a good salsa by shoving fruit where it doesn’t belong. And pineapple salsa? Ask any cam girl… there are some places you just shouldn’t shove a pineapple, and salsa is one of them.

Number two on my list has to go to mopeds. These basterd children of scooters and bicycles are death traps. Not enough power to keep you from getting run over but just enough for you to fool yourself into thinking it’s ok to be on the road. Seriously, you dont even need a drivers license to ride one. That alone should tell you not to drive it on the road. These rolling hit me signs should come with an automatic darwin award and a CD filled with emo “I want to die” songs.

The envelope please…

And the number three abomination on my list goes to….. soybeans. Yup… soy. But how could that possibly be bad you ask? Because in the last 15 years soybeans have been genetically modified so much there is now almost no non modified beans left on the whole earth. But why is that so bad? 2 reasons.

1. Almost no one used to be allergic to soy. Now there are over a million just in the USA including me. I was fine with it until they went gmo. Now.. they do horrible things to my poor belly.

2. I am a vegetarian and damm it if allmost fucking EVERYTHING made for vegetarians is made of God dammed soy! And dont get me started on Japanese food. I used to love fryed tofu with noodles. Now I can’t even eat the noodles because they put soy sauce in the broth!

Ok… deep breath… whew…. (on a scale of 1 to eat a dick.) I give that rant a ( 6.4 ) lower marks for only mild vitriol.