Diet. Day 1.

Soo.. fail. Had tacos. Well.. they were fryed portabella mushroom and pickled carrot with avocado tacos.. so not too bad.. but… it was both fried food and tacos all at once. So.. not so bad? . . . . . . . I can hear you laughing at me. 😑😏 ah! But I made up for it! 20min on the elliptical should balance the calories from 2 tacos. . . . And a coke. 180 calories in a coke? Are you shitting me? Fuck! Back to the elliptical. . . . In a bit.. maybe.. fuck it, I will just have a salad tomorrow and feel good about my body image in the morning. Tonight I want a beer. Anyone know how many calories are in a hefeweizen? And do I count the lemon wedge?

Also.. how the hell can every other profile on tinder be a pic of some lady working her ass of in a gym and still claim they are not a masochist? You are literally torturing yourself to look good. I think that’s awsome but let’s not lie to ourselves. A gym is a trick played apon lady’s by a vary clever sadist. “Hay! I have an idea.. ladys will actually pay us to torture themselves if we tell them it will make them more attractive ” brilliant. Fucking genius level sadisum.

*facepalm* and I am just as big a sucker as any of them. Time for crunches and pushups. Worst part is I cant even cheat and not do as many even though no one is watching because dammit I would know.

Bettering myself with vitriol -SirHanz

Update: my little workout buddy cookie helped by laying on my chest while I did crunches.. and biteing my chin. Helped with pushups by encouraging me by biteing my ankles and trying to hump my leg. . . You know.. so I would have to do them while shaking him off.



Now for something a little lighter than my last post/rant.

Someone set me on a pie kick today so I thought I would talk a bit about that beautiful round luscious thing we call pie. Let’s start with what makes a good pie.

1. It needs to be nice and hot.

2. It needs to be soft so you get a great mouth feel.

3. If you will probably need a napkin when your done you know it’s good.

4. If you taste it and want to eat the whole pie.

5. If it you can just see that sweet gooey filling that makes you just want to stick your fingers all inside it and drip it into your mouth.

WOAH! What the hell are you thinking about! We are just talking about pie here.. sheesh.. gonna go blind with thoughts like that..

And what goes great when your eating pie? Ice…. cream. Just drop it right on top of that hot pie and go at it! Its delicious! You may want to have a damp towel ready.. good pie with ice cream can leave your hands and face a bit sticky.


😏 best wishes.. -SirHanz


Back long before cell phones, computers, and even cars there was a tiny island that was at war with itself. In this war there were trained soldiers that even modern armies try to emulate. They fought without fear of death, for they believed that they were already dead and must win their battle in order to win back their lives. I speek of course of the samurai.

But what do they have to do with apathy you ask… absolutely nothing.. and that’s the point. They were the polar opposite of apathy. They were taught that there were rules.. a code. The Hagakure, outlining the rules and virtues of bushido. They were taught to never hesitate, to act according to their code without thought or consideration of personal safety.

Now that we have established a baseline for what is not apathy, let’s look at the most extreme examples of apathy from today’s society. That of the shooter. We have had a rash of shootings in this country. Some guy walks into a business or movie theater and opens fire. And in almost all cases what happens.. people run, try to hide.. and in almost every case the guy just walks through the rooms killing. I recognize these as horrible tragedies and my heart goes out to the victims families, but what I cant seem to wrap my head around is that in all but a few of these shootings the perpetrator was unopposed by those he was shooting. Now dont get angry and say “they were scared they were going to die! Of course they ran and hid!” Stop for a moment and put yourself in that position. There is a man with a gun who you know for a fact will kill you all if given the chance… run? Maybe you will get away.. but if you run he may see you and kill you anyway. Hide? Are you willing to bet your life that he cant find you? Because if he does you will have zero chance of surviving. This is my point. When you know for shure you will die if you dont stop the attacker and you lie to yourself that “maybe he will not see you” your throwing away not only your life.. but the life of everyone else that is too deeply apathetic to act even in the defense of their own life. Is this how little we value life? We love to talk about the sacredness of life.. but when it’s our turn to act? We do nothing.

You have no idea how sad this makes me. People that could have lived full healthy lives.. dead… because not one person was willing to die to stop it.. even if they were about to be killed anyway.

Just recently there was an event that put hope back in my heart. A school shooting, the worst kind of violence. Children who should never see that kind of destruction and cruelty suddenly thrust into it. And what happened? 3 students.. rushed the shooter. Two were shot. One brave soul lost his life far too soon. The shooter was subdued untill authoritys could arrive. But here is the hope.. stop and think.. how many lives were saved? How many children will see their families again? Here were three people.. not even adults… who recognized the cost of inaction. One paid the highest cost. A child did what grown men and ladys refused to do. We say that he was extraordinary, and I agree.. but the question now becomes… why are we so apathetic that we will not act to save our own life.. let alone the lives of others.

I refuse to be the lamb led to slaughter. I will fight to win back my life. I will spend my life if necessary to save others. For when there is a man with a gun who is bent on killing… I am already dead.

All it takes is 3 children to stop a gunman. Why can’t adults do better. I hope beyond hope no one is ever put into the situation where you have to make that choice. But if you are.. remeber.. children did it. How could we do any less?

Best wishes -SirHanz


Down.. deep down… at the base of your spine..

Curls the pressure and heat..

Clawing upward it makes you twist and whine..

Gripping and pushing.. plucking the strings.. not missing a beat..

Arch your back to escape.. to beg for more..

A gasping breath.. legs pull tight..

Hands pull me close.. your eyes implore..

A tender kiss in the morning light..

The world becomes dim.. only pleasure remains..

Burning and boiling up through your vains..

A cry! Exaltent! Torn from your lips..

A spreading warmth deep in your hips..

The softest smile in a tangle of sheets..

Relaxed in the dawn.. listening to heart beats.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Single life.

I remember a time when I was good at being single. Wow that was a long time ago.. now? I have no idea what I should be doing besides maybe fixing up my house a little and reorganizing my closet. Sad huh? Should I get some new clothes? Should I go out more? God I hope not.. I really dont like to go out unless I have a reason to. Go out and meet people they say.. *facepalm* I wasn’t good at that when I was 20 why would I be better at 40? Shure.. I am a lot more secure with who I am and confident now.. but I also know most people dont want to be approached by some random stranger. And makeing someone uncomfortable is not a good way to get a date. Clubs are out.. if for no other reason than I would have to drive downtown and unless i know for a fact i am going to meet someone it doesn’t seem worth the aggravation. Oh.. and downtown smells like a bathroom. Soo.. pass. So that leaves what.. bars? I dont drink if I am driving, so unless I have a driver that’s out. Gym? Who likes getting hit on at the gym? Nope. That reminds me.. should I work out more? Or try to lose weight? (I’m not chunky just a tiny bit of a belly) yah.. typing that made me think I should do both. *sigh* hello salad goodbye pizza.

Oh well.. I am trying not to worry too much about it. In the mean time I am adjusting to being single again. It feels weird.. I have basically been a caretaker for the last 5 years and suddenly being able to stop doing that has left me wondering what to do with myself. I know what I want, (I think.. I am always open to whatever life may send my way) just not how to find it. I am not deluded enough to expect to find someone right away.. but a place to start is what I am trying to find.

On the bright side I am sleeping better, sleeping next to someone who doesn’t want to be touched (not talking sexually.. but like anything at all..) is bordering on overwhelming insanity for someone who craves touch like I do. So while sleeping alone sucks.. it’s better than that.

Oh.. and I have more closet space now. I can finally organize my summer and winter clothes.

Hmm.. do I need to buy a suit?

Best wishes -SirHanz


Men are usualy vary visually attuned when it comes to what we think is sexy. For some it’s when a woman dresses like a hooker, or a schoolgirl, or swimsuits, or a country girl…and while those can be sexy….for me…. its class. You know that song.. short skirt long jacket by cake? Yah… love the idea of a beautiful lady who understands that sometimes less is more. It’s not about what you show.. it’s about giving just enough of a hint that we cant help but imagine what it would be like to find out what’s underneath.

And it’s not just about the clothes. It’s the makeup, the attitude, the whole package. The attention to detail that says “I wanted to look this good…. for you.”

It seems most ladies now days have ether given up trying to look their best or take the easy route of booty shorts or yoga pants. (Not knocking ether one but it does make a statement about how much effort your willing to put in to look good ) and that’s what it’s about for me. It’s like the difference between a store bought gift and a handmade one. They are both nice but the handmade one took thought and effort, and that makes me feel like the lady was really thinking about me and liked me enough to spend their time and energy to do something I may like. I love the look but i also love the effort it took to create the look.

It’s also not just one style, it can be anything really. It’s more about it being perfectly fit and complimenting the lady’s natural look.

And it makes the contrast all the more erotic when she goes from the above picture to the below.

Stay classy -SirHanz

Q&A the questions

I love good questions. I dont pretend to have all the answers but even if I am stumped I usually learn something along the way. So I thought I would put it to you, the reader to ask me some questions. No restrictions on topic or personal boundaries. Ask anything. I will do my best to answer and in the process maybe get to know my readers a little better. I will give a week or untill there are 25 questions. Leave your question in the comments or send via the email on my site. 😁 this should be fun, cant wait to see what interests you.