Single life.

I remember a time when I was good at being single. Wow that was a long time ago.. now? I have no idea what I should be doing besides maybe fixing up my house a little and reorganizing my closet. Sad huh? Should I get some new clothes? Should I go out more? God I hope not.. I really dont like to go out unless I have a reason to. Go out and meet people they say.. *facepalm* I wasn’t good at that when I was 20 why would I be better at 40? Shure.. I am a lot more secure with who I am and confident now.. but I also know most people dont want to be approached by some random stranger. And makeing someone uncomfortable is not a good way to get a date. Clubs are out.. if for no other reason than I would have to drive downtown and unless i know for a fact i am going to meet someone it doesn’t seem worth the aggravation. Oh.. and downtown smells like a bathroom. Soo.. pass. So that leaves what.. bars? I dont drink if I am driving, so unless I have a driver that’s out. Gym? Who likes getting hit on at the gym? Nope. That reminds me.. should I work out more? Or try to lose weight? (I’m not chunky just a tiny bit of a belly) yah.. typing that made me think I should do both. *sigh* hello salad goodbye pizza.

Oh well.. I am trying not to worry too much about it. In the mean time I am adjusting to being single again. It feels weird.. I have basically been a caretaker for the last 5 years and suddenly being able to stop doing that has left me wondering what to do with myself. I know what I want, (I think.. I am always open to whatever life may send my way) just not how to find it. I am not deluded enough to expect to find someone right away.. but a place to start is what I am trying to find.

On the bright side I am sleeping better, sleeping next to someone who doesn’t want to be touched (not talking sexually.. but like anything at all..) is bordering on overwhelming insanity for someone who craves touch like I do. So while sleeping alone sucks.. it’s better than that.

Oh.. and I have more closet space now. I can finally organize my summer and winter clothes.

Hmm.. do I need to buy a suit?

Best wishes -SirHanz



Men are usualy vary visually attuned when it comes to what we think is sexy. For some it’s when a woman dresses like a hooker, or a schoolgirl, or swimsuits, or a country girl…and while those can be sexy….for me…. its class. You know that song.. short skirt long jacket by cake? Yah… love the idea of a beautiful lady who understands that sometimes less is more. It’s not about what you show.. it’s about giving just enough of a hint that we cant help but imagine what it would be like to find out what’s underneath.

And it’s not just about the clothes. It’s the makeup, the attitude, the whole package. The attention to detail that says “I wanted to look this good…. for you.”

It seems most ladies now days have ether given up trying to look their best or take the easy route of booty shorts or yoga pants. (Not knocking ether one but it does make a statement about how much effort your willing to put in to look good ) and that’s what it’s about for me. It’s like the difference between a store bought gift and a handmade one. They are both nice but the handmade one took thought and effort, and that makes me feel like the lady was really thinking about me and liked me enough to spend their time and energy to do something I may like. I love the look but i also love the effort it took to create the look.

It’s also not just one style, it can be anything really. It’s more about it being perfectly fit and complimenting the lady’s natural look.

And it makes the contrast all the more erotic when she goes from the above picture to the below.

Stay classy -SirHanz

Q&A the questions

I love good questions. I dont pretend to have all the answers but even if I am stumped I usually learn something along the way. So I thought I would put it to you, the reader to ask me some questions. No restrictions on topic or personal boundaries. Ask anything. I will do my best to answer and in the process maybe get to know my readers a little better. I will give a week or untill there are 25 questions. Leave your question in the comments or send via the email on my site. 😁 this should be fun, cant wait to see what interests you.

Update, situation stable

S finaly calmed down enough last night that we could talk as two adults. She agreed to stay in the extra room I have untill she can get up on her feet and move out. I am much relieved. It may not be ideal for ether of us but at least she is safe and fed.

On a brighter note… I found the antifreeze leak in the car finaly. Yay! Now just need to figure out the damm part number and find time to fix it lol. But at least things are moving in a positive direction.

Thanks again to all those that take the time to read my ramblings. It makes me feel like there are people out there that care about my life and writeing. You guys and ladies rule.

Best wishes -SirHanz

The longest week

Let me introduce you to the main person this story revolves around… we will call her “L” …

L lived in a house.. it was a nice house much like any other on her street. It had a yard with dogs that played, a big closet that she vary much liked. And a small box.. hidden in a drawer. Now L herself if you were to ask her neighbors.. was a vary nice and respectable lady. She dressed nicely and took vary good care of her garden. But L had a secret that no one knew.. not the postman.. not the elderly couple next door.. and definitely not the kids that played outside in the street.

L… in her own words.. unspoken of course because she was a lady after all.. “needed a good hard.. ruin the sheets..wake the dogs.. fucking.” Ahem.. but as I said.. she was a lady and would never say so.

And that brings us to today. Today L was on the phone.. legs spread.. dress hiked up.. with her fingers deep inside herself… right in the middle of her kitchen table. You see L had a *cough* friend… that helped her to as she put it .. “take the edge off”. This friend.. we will call him… “Sir” had given her a task for the week. Every day that week she was to answer the phone when he called and go to the box in the drawer. She was to open the box and choose a toy of the adult variety and then proceed to use it apon herself while they talked on the phone. But there was a catch. She was not allowed to cum for a whole week.

” Alass.. poor L. ” she thought to herself..What would she do? Sir called.. she played with herself oh.. that part was good.. he was ever so caring.. and gave her many naughty thoughts while she rubbed this toy or that inside and around.. oh! But she wanted it soo badly! Worse than the time she had wanted a pony for her birthday as a teen.

But wait! It was sunday! The week was done! Sir was telling her to do such naughty things to please herself.. she liked to pretend that she didn’t like it. But L knew deep down that sir’s voice made her heart tremble.. and she would do anything.. if only for one more word..

L did as inspired by the gentle voice through the phone.. faster.. harder.. the table was slick with her juices, the dark cherry finish looking like walnut in the dim light. Suddenly Sir’s voice.. barely a whisper.. but with the weight of hours apon hours spoke directly into her ear. “Cum for me L”..

Little L looked like a rag doll being shaken by doberman. Her arms flailed her legs locked around the rounded edges of the table. Her cries of pleasure probably woke the elderly couple next door Sir thought in amusement. After a full five minutes L was finaly able to pick up the phone from where she had dropped it. “Same time tomorrow? ” she asked hopefully..

There was a laugh on the other end of the connection.. “why you little minx.. I will be home from work In a few hours.. we can play then.”

Best wishes.. -Sir*cough*Hanz.

Black and white

She smelled him before she saw him.. juniper oil and sawdust.. she smiled and relaxed as he slid into to the booth across from her. The rain was heavy on the window next to them and he had to raise his voice to be heard over the downpour. “Did I keep you waiting long?” She shook her head no, her freshly cut blonde hair bouncing side to side. He could smell her perfume with her movement.. she smelled like something foriegn, exotic… He looked her over appraiseingly, her white dress was tight… The black corset hugging her waist drawing the eye inevitably to its curves…

His throat was suddenly vary dry.. “what is a good drink on a rainy day?” He asked, trying to pull his eyes from her captivating form. She smiled again.. her eyes sparkling with mischief. She looked strait into his eyes and slowly ran her tounge across ruby lips.. “I would like something… ” she let the pause draw out and her chest lifted slightly with her intake of breath… “…. warm…” the word hung in the air, seeming to drift from her lips ever so slowly.

He smiled.. now seeing her game.. “oh.. but I think all the drinks here are cold.. would you like to find someplace better?” Her lips curled into a grin. “I bet you would like that.. wouldn’t you….”

He shrugged casting a sidelong glance at her lithe form. “I dont know.. you sound like you may want to stay..” she pouted, pretending to be hurt. “Your mean sir…. you know how much I have looked forward to this..” He laughed and caught her chin with his hand as he slid into her side of the booth. “mean am I?” Her sharp intake of breath at his touch brought a faint blush to her cheeks. She could feel her heart quicken and tried to suppress a shiver. “Yes sir… you are mean. To make a lady wait and….” He kissed her, cutting off her words. Her body was electric… every nerve catching fire..eyes glazed.. thought stoped.. she could feel the heat of his body pressed tight agenst her as he gently bit her lip and pulled away. “What was that? I didnt quite catch the ending..” her eyes snapped to his.. blue.. with bits of gray.. “we.. need to go… ” she hesitated… “please..”

He wraped his coat across her shoulders as he helped her up from the booth. Still slightly unsteady but determined not to show it she grabbed a hair band from her purse and pulled her hair back to keep it from being ruined by the rain. He just watched.. smirking at her worrying over a little water when she knew what awaited her at their destination. Or.. she thought she did…

Her heels made little splashes as she hurried through the rain, his gaze travelled slowly up her legs as he followed… the rain was warm.. he was in no hurry. She stood beside the car looking annoyed at his pace. “Hurry up! I am getting soaked out here!” In two strides he closed the gap between them and pressed her into the wet body of the car. His breath was hot in her ear as he leaned forward and spoke quietly “I like it.. when your all wet.” Then he was gone.. where was he? The door lock clicked and the window rolled down. “How long where you planning to stand in the rain?” He was in the car.. how had he.. but just a moment ago.. or was it? Her thoughts were confused.. she looked down at herself, she was soaked. Mumbleing apologizes for the water she quickly got into the car. His eyes were dancing..”wouldn’t be the first time you got my car all wet.” She bit her lip and looked out the window to hide her blush. “I am shure I dont know what your talking about.”

He just chuckled softly as they drove through the dimming light… soon they had arived, the house was lit by tiny lights as he led her to a room she had never been in before. He stoped in front of the large oak door and turned to her. “Beyond this door is everything you have ever wanted.” He gently placed a hand in the small of her back.. pulling her close… there was that smell again.. that intoxicating sent of clove and vanilla.. yes.. that was it. “You know the price… ”

Her hand shook as she placed it on the knob and turned, the room was dark but for a single light Shining in the center of the room. In the light hung a chain… then the light was gone.

He quickly tied the band of black silk around her head, his hands worked quickly… first the blindfold.. then her hands were pulled behind her and they too were bound.

She could smell the juniper oil he he shaved with as he took her by the arm and pulled her to the center of the room

He looked at her.. standing there in the light.. she was so beautiful.. and tonight.. he would make her believe that she was. “Spread.. your.. legs..”

His words sent a rush through her as she stood in her private darkness. Slowly she did as she was told and felt the cool weight of metal around her ankles. There was a click and a rattle of chain.. her wrists were pulled upward, bending her forward at the waist.. she tried to pull her feet together to steady herself but something prevented it. “What are you doing?” She whispered into the dark..

“You are beautiful..” the sound of his voice was close to her. She shook her head no. “I am not sir.” She felt his hand caressing her leg. It felt so sexy as she hung helpless in her darkness.

He pulled back from her and opened a box by the wall. Something simple he thought.. something heavy.. he removed the paddle made of oakheart from the box and felt its heft. Yes… this will do. He turned to her, raising the paddle over his head “you are beautiful. ” his arm fell..

She jerked and cried out at the unexpected pain.. her ass throbbed from the blow.. so did other parts.. she heard his voice again.. “you are beautiful. ” again the pain.. her whole body felt the impact, her arms pulled against the binding.. “you are beautiful. ” pain lanced through her.. she could no longer hold her voice back and a soft cry escaped into her personal night. “You are beautiful ” now it felt like fire… she burned.. the echo of a scream ripped itself from her lungs.. she hung there.. sobbing softly.. “you are beautiful. ” it hurt worse.. her body jerked and twisted trying to escape the pain.. “oh God! Please! It hurts!” Her skin felt raw.. “you are beautiful ” her mouth opened in a silent scream.. her chest heaved trying to find breath..

Suddenly the darkness was gone.. before her was a woman.. her mouth crimson, slightly open as if in invitation… the womans eyes shining with a need so intense it pierced her soul.. this woman.. was everything she wanted to be.. this woman was ravishing.. and… beautiful.

He slowly stepped out from behind the mirror.. “now you see through my eyes.. you are beautiful in all your forms.. from you mind to your body to your heart.” He walked behind her so she could see him in the mirror. She whispered “I am beautiful…” a single tear slowly made it’s way to rest like a diamond on her cheek.

She saw him behind her.. felt his hands slide up her legs and lift her skirt.. her legs shook with need as she watched him grab hold of her hips in the mirror.

“Say it.” He growled, leaning over her to slip a hand beneath her breast. “I am beautiful ” she moaned as she felt him slide deeply inside her. He took her hard and fast, pushing her against her bonds.. her gasping crys echoed in the room.. her eyes never leaving the mirror. “Oh God! Please sir! Please.. i.. need… ” her voice was ragged and her breath was a gasp that flushed her cheeks. “What are you?” He asked.. holding her right on the edge of oblivion. “I AM BEAUTIFUL! ” she screamed as he pushed himself hard within her sending her cascading over the edge. Her body.. her beautiful body.. clamped down on him as pleasure roared through her vains… his heat filled her, his hands gripping her thighs.. holding her tight against him.

He slowly withdrew, savoring every touch.. he undid her bindings and stood her up before him. His hand cupped her cheek and he softly kissed her. “You are extraordinary.. and you deserve to see yourself as I do.” He said as he held her close to him supporting her.

She buried her head in his chest and wept… she could see… no false modesty.. no shame at her imperfections.. she was beautiful..


Best wishes -SirHanz

An open letter to myself.

I have never been able to separate myself, my life, or my honor from love. I dont know if it was how I was raised or if it’s just the way I am, but when I love.. you get everything that I am. I love with my whole heart, I dont understand how I could do anything less.

I also understand how dangerous this is. Especially knowing how easy it is for me to fall in love. Both a blessing and a curse. The curse is that because I give the whole of myself when I love, when that love is broken… i suffer. The blessing is that it feels amazing to love without restraint. To feel joy when your love feels joy.

Knowing myself i am vary careful with who i trust and let in. The potential for being hurt is vary high and I will avoid that at all cost, unless i find someone who is worth possibly paying that cost. I am not rich, i make a living and work hard to do so. I am not handsome (at least i dont think i am.)

What I do have is intelligence, kindness, a good sence of humor, and the ability to love without limit. (Often to my own detriment).

I am a good man. Who would give just about anything to make the woman he loves happy.

If your reading this future me.. I hope you have found someone who loves you as deeply and fiercely as the love you give. If you have, I am proud of you. You are a lucky bastard and deserve nothing less. And if your still looking, I am sorry.. I know how lonely you are even if your happy. Dont give up hope.. the world is a big place. Keep looking untill you find her. You will know when you do. We both know how.

Oh.. one more thing.. dont forget me. I am a lesson from the past.. on how you were hurt and how to try to keep moving forward. Even if your alone.. I need to know your ok. You probably are.. but let me know. It doesn’t need to be anything big. Just post a picture with a genuine smile, or hopefully one with whom we love.

Thanks me. Best of luck. -SirHanz