Implosion

relationships 1 Minute

Today S imploded. Apparently the guilt of haveing me take care of her and get almost nothing in return was eating her up inside… and today it all came out. She said she is leaving me.

She said it’s not fair for me to be trying to find a good happy relationship while still haveing to take care of her. And I couldn’t disagree. But it’s more than that.. I am worried to death about her. Where will she go? What will she do? She said she wants to leave the house by the end of the week. But she has no where to go… I dont want this for her. I wanted to give her a chance to get better.. to be happy.. but she is determined. I hope I can convince her to stay long enough to at least come up with some kind of plan…… I am a wreck right now. It’s all too much.. to fast.. i want to cry but i am too much in shock i think. I just needed to get it out.. so here it is.. welcome to my own personal hell. Haveing to watch someone i care about and love implode their life for my benefit. Thanks…. just what I wanted.. for ANOTHER woman to leave me because I am “too good”.

I need a drink.

Edit… just managed to talk her into waiting a week before makeing any decisions about leaving the house. Hopefully that will give her time to think through the implications and make a more rational choice. *sigh* still need that drink.. I feel like hell.

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Published by sirhanz

My path in writing, art, or poetry had always been one of seemingly contradictory things meshing to find balance.  Transporting a reader into the depths of their imagination or showing a glimpse of the world through my eyes. Inspireing new thoughts or shifting a readers view to a new perspective has always made me smile. Writing connects me to strangers and those I care about. I write as a creative outlet and as a way to share my thoughts.  Sometimes catharsis,  sometimes simply seeking to share or create beauty.  I openly write about my experiences as a dom and the kinks I enjoy. Sensuality and sexuality both find a home in my work and inspire me to write. I pour feelings onto the page like splashes of paint, throw them out into the world and for some reason people like them. It baffles me but I enjoy the hell out of it. I hope I can continue to inform, amuse, and inspire desire in you all. Best wishes  -SirHanz

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8 thoughts on “Implosion”

  1. Oh dear that’s heartbreaking! And you know none of us us better than another. We just have different issues. All I can suggest us what I did years ago when my wife was in a mess and always saying you’re too good for you’re better off without me was to offer a way back. Take some time out. Set a time…a week a fortnight I dont know! It took her 2 months and she did come back. God that’s horrible. You need to find some you trust to hold you and support you. Sounds like shes in a really bad state. Medication? Is it past experiences? Does she know her demons?

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    1. She is refusing treatment. And I cant force her. The past 3 years have basicly been a break for us. She has no where else to go so it’s not like she can go stay with a friend or family for a while. She doesn’t have that. I feel helpless. God this sucks.

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      1. I read her post. I’m so sorry. But you are NOT responsible FOR her, only responsible TO her to do the best you can. I was a rescuer for many years. It’s a huge burden that noone is meant to assume. It creates massive guilt. She is an adult. Sad but true. I’m thinking of you!

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    1. No problem. Yah she isn’t S. I do appreciate you takeing the time to comment. I always try to listen when those that have been there before me give advice.

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