Sometimes it’s the little things that we treasure. If you are going on a date and the man brings you Roses.. that’s nice right? You put them in a vase on the table. Now imagine the same man shows up empty handed but while walking stops to pick a daisy and tucks it In your hair. What ment more to you? The roses? Or the daisy? What makes you smile and your heart flutter?
It is much the same in a D/s dynamic. It is the little things you do that make your partner feel safe, able to freely express themselves sexually or otherwise. It’s what we do to show we are thinking about our partners that makes us feel the most cared about. For example, a dom may show he or she is thinking about their sub by the planning and work they put into creating the right headspace for play. The sub meanwhile may show their care and devotion by makeing themselves appealing to the taste of their dom, or in the ways they allow their dom to exercise control over them. This will of course vary depending upon your personal preferences and the extent of your dynamic. But the thought is the same. Small gestures matter. Often more than we know. So make the effort, it costs you nothing.. and may mean everything to someone you care about.
I know the value of these things, and try to do little things to make shure the person I care about knows how much I value their attention and seek to allow them the opportunity to be happy and fulfilled. It is through my writing and my actions that I endeavor to make them feel wanted and appreciated. However.. there is a downside to this approach. The recipient of your attention needs to understand why you do the things you do and be open to the experience. If you stop to pick a flower while walking and the person your with gets annoyed that you are slowing them down…. not the best reaction huh? Or in a bdsm context if you have layed out toys and are waiting in cuffs when they walk in the door…. and they tell you to put that stuff away because they want dinner… can you say mood killer?
So be open to seeing what’s behind the words or actions. It’s not just a flower that you will have to pick out of your hair later. It’s a gesture that says “your beautiful, I want you to feel beautiful, I am constantly thinking of ways to show you that I love you, and I will spend a little more time to make shure you feel it.”
Best wishes -SirHanz