Goodnight

Sleep sweet flower,
In comfort and bliss,
I’ll tell you a story,
And give you a kiss,
Sleep oh goddess,
Of summer and prose,
Rest your head,
In gentle repose,
Sleep my minx,
Though I covet your touch,
You need your rest,
And I want your smile just as much,
Sleep and dream,
Of days to come,
When in my arms,
We may rest as one.

Sweet dreams -SirHanz

In between

There is a certain moment,
Between wakeing and sleep,
Where dreams still linger,
And thoughts run deep,
Before I open my eyes,
It doesn’t last long,
But the feeling is strong,
Just a moment or two,
Where I’m laying in bed,
And still with you,
Then I awake,
Alone in bed,
With the touch of your mind,
Still in my head,
It slips through my fingers,
Like your silken hair,
A gossamer thread,
Shining and golden,
Then no longer there,
A sigh escapes,
From deep in my chest,
Today there will be,
No more rest,
Untill once more,
The darkness returns,
And in dreams passion burns,
As I lay again in your arms.

Best wishes-SirHanz

Beloved

I wake wishing to sleep,
Stretching out half in dream,
The disappointment is bitter,
Drag me back oh morpheus,
Into the arms of my beloved,
For the pillow beside me is empty,
And in unconscious hours,
She trembles in my arms,
So take me back,
Into loveing embrace,
Ephemeral as it may be,
I crave that fire once more

Best wishes -SirHanz

North Wind

The wind shifted,
Cool breeze caressing skin,
Beneath light linen sheets,
I watch her rest,
Silver moon spilling through the window,
Tangleing with my fingers,
Among strands of golden hue,
Her eyes flutter in dream,
Hidden worlds of mist and shadow
I long to kiss soft lips,
Gazing down at her beauty,
Blood surges faster,
As I imagine her sleepy moan,
When she awakens to softest touch…
But I am content,
Watching the lace of shadows,
Cling to the curves of her body,
Each languid breath,
A warm benediction of love,
Apon my chest,
As the north wind blows,
And fills me with anticipation,
Of the dawn.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Napping

Tired girl worn thin by gentle heart,

Curled up with dogs in the shade,

Caffeine fueled at the start,

Now resting she begins to fade,

Bedroom eyes softly close,

The pillow cools her cheek,

As she lays in warm repose,

And is carried off to wistful sleep.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Faceplant

So yesterday was a bit more exhausting than I anticipated. I spent almost all day trimming oak branches from the bucket of the backhoe.

I actually enjoy trimming the trees, they grow better and are more healthy. Plus I enjoy the challenge. You need to plan out your cuts to get the best result for the tree, and at the same time make shure you are not going to get hit with 200lbs of falling branch. (I occasionally fail at that. Sometimes they snap as your cutting and twist around on you.) Then comes the physical challenge of maneuvering the chainsaw into just the right angle while leaning out from the bucket. (Sometimes the positions you end up cutting from are something dreamed up by an insane yoga instructor. ) Anyone can do it a few times but it’s a real test of endurance to do it for hours on end. Especially when it’s 98 degrees, the wind is blowing sawdust in your face and eyes, and the sun is directly behind the branch you are trying to cut.

So I finish out my day, pick up my check and go to the bank. Grab a couple sandwiches for dinner on the way home. (There is no way I feel up to cooking after a day like that). Then home and into the shower for a much needed scrub and shave. Both face and head were feeling a bit scruffy.

Finally it’s time to eat.. I plant myself on the couch, bring up the chef show on Netflix and proceed to devour my sandwich. When I am done i put aside my plate and cookie comes and lays across my lap. (Cute untill you realize he is just snuffleing for sandwich crumbs). And that’s when it hits me. Holy hell I am tired.. can’t even finish the episode I’m watching. Apparently I managed to drag myself to bed, I have only foggy memories of doing so.

I awoke this morning at about 5am. Today is a day off so I am just laying in bed with a cup of tea trying to gather my scattered thoughts and plan my day. Going to try one more time to find the leak in the coolant system of the car. If I cant find it then it’s off to the mechanic to get charged an arm and a leg to fix one tiny hose or something. Yah.. realy hope it doesn’t come to that. But that can all wait.. right now I have a dog at my feet, a nice cup of earl gray and the quiet of the morning to soothe my thoughts.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Fuck it.

You ever had one of those days when your so tired you want sleep more than dinner? But you know if you dont eat you will wake up starved in the middle of the night?

Yah… that’s been my day.

3 hours of sleep last night followed by 8 hours of work out in the heat. At three o’clock I thought to myself “wow, I actually dont feel too bad considering the lack of sleep and the heat.”

5 PM rolls around and I am driving home and that’s when it decides to hit me. I could barely keep my eyes open, was feeling dizzy and nauseous.

Made it home through shear willpower I think.

And now I am faced with cooking dinner.

Fuck it. Sandwiches.

Out of bread.

Fuck it. Use a bagel.

Out of mayo.

Fuck it. Just add extra mustard.

Damm I am tired…

Fuck it. Nap time.

Cant sleep

I am generally a fairly easygoing guy, but there are a few thing that just annoy the crap out of me.

One of the biggest things is being woken up right as I doze off. Shure.. if it’s an emergency I get it.. it’s fine I will deal with it. But tonight it was a false alarm… literally. The battery in the smoke alarm died and it starts makeing that high pitched [I hate you and never want you to sleep again] noise. And of course I snap awake wondering what fresh hell is this… realize what the noise is, realize I am going to have to get out of bed and remove the battery… so of course I get up and do that because I do actually want to sleep at some point tonight.

Getting woken up is only half of why it annoys me though. The main reason is that if I get woken up as I am falling asleep, I catch my second wind and cant fall back asleep for a couple of hours no matter how tired I am.

And so I find myself here writing, hopeing it helps me into the embrace of morpheus once again. And knowing that in all likelihood I will get 4 hours of sleep and then have to crawl around in an atic pulling wire tomorow wanting to faceplant into the fiberglass insulation because it looks soft.

Well.. 1am and I am still up.. I may as well try to write something usefull.

Experience

I was once asked why I only try to help doms and female subs. To me the answer was obvious, that is where my experience is. I can help doms because I have often made the same mistakes and had the same problems. I can help female subs because I have invested monumental amounts of time into learning as much as I can about what it is like to be a female sub, what they need, what submission can do to a lady physically and mentally, and how best to avoid the pitfalls that come with all that. And I am still learning. Every dom or sub I meet teaches me something.

So why not help a male sub? Because I dont know crap about what they need or how to help them. The best thing I can do is to not fiddle around with things I dont understand. That’s how things get even more messed up. So no matter how bad I feel for them it is best for them If i let someone who does have to tools and experience step in to help.

And that is the point of this blog, know yourself. Know what you can do and what you cant. Learn when you can help someone and when to step back and let someone with more experience step in. And know when to seek the help of those with more experience than yourself. There have been plenty of times I needed to do that. ( I try to limit how much i bother other doms with questions though. I know that my curiosity to know everything can suck up time they often dont have to spare. )

I will close with this… if in doubt… ask. It is often more important to recognize what you dont know than to rely only on what you do.

1:30am..

Going to go stair at the dark and listen to the dog snore. Hopefully I will sleep soon.

3am..

Still awake. Have to get up for work at 7… soo tired….

Goodnight fellow dreamers -SirHanz

Rough night.

Laying in bed trying to calm the vortex of thoughts so that I can sleep. Inevitably my thoughts turn inward as I examine my day.

Did I help someone today? I hope so…

Did I get things done around the house? Meh… not so much.. still pretty sore from work on Friday. I will mow the lawn, trim the trees, and bathe the dog tomorrow.

Was I a good domanent today? I did learn a few new things today. Always a good thing. Honestly it always makes me happy to learn something new, even after 20 years of being a dom there are still new and exciting things just waiting to be learned or understood.

Haveing a moment of introspection tonight.. thinking of all the things and people I have gained and lost over the years.

There are things I am glad to have… a comfortable bed.. plenty of good food ready to be cooked…. the dog snoring softly and kicking at my feet as he dreams… a good friend who is like a brother to me.

And there are things and moments that I dearly miss… the affectionate touch of a loved one… the entrancing beauty of moonlight kissed mountains under the stars… far too much lost to the mist of time. Some things still too raw to write about, some like old scars that ache when a storm is coming.

I know why I am feeling this way… but knowing doesn’t make it feel any better. Only allows me to maybe get some sleep.

Untitled poem from a sleep deprived man.

Sleep eludes the dreaming mind,

Thoughts drift in diming light,

She turns and slips her hand in thine,

Her Eyes on his speak her need and plight,

Breath on her neck.. skin flushed and tight,

A gasp as he grips her hair in calloused hand,

Flesh burns hot on moonless night,

Her body twists with fevered demand,

Flame made desire submits to his gaze,

No rope binds yet she is bound all the same,

Please she whispers… lost in pleasures maze,

She shudders and cries out his name,

And finally sleep… a drowsy smile apon her lips,

Darkness enfolds… and all is silence.