Tag: touch

Touch

Today I wanted to talk about touch. One of the main aspects of bdsm, or most any kind of dynamic.  Touch can convay a huge veriaty of things. A gentle push or firm grip can direct movement or the desire for your partner to move in a particular way. The sensual brush of fingertips can speak volumes of love or affection.  A slap on the ass can excite or remind your partner to behave… or both lol.

Touch can be delicate and so gentle the need for more can be almost painful. Or it can be rough and draw out the most primal of emotions. 


 Knowing where to touch or just how much pressure or duration to convay a feeling or elicit a desired response is a skill like any other. Some people need vary little practice to master a musical instrument.  Some need to spend years practicing.  But the important thing is that you understand which notes your playing so that when it comes time to perform you can just lose yourself in the music. And just like playing an instrument a flute is not a violin. People are different and their responses will be as well. Learn the theory then learn the instrument.  Experiment with your partner and pay close attention to how they feel and their reactions.  Find the best way to speak without ever saying a word.

The old saying actions speek louder than words is definitely true. Understanding and convaying feelings or ideas through touch leaves a much more lasting impression on the mind. And some people (like me) crave that kind of connection.  And others that dont… I believe have not truly experienced it and dont know what they are missing.


 Take a moment next time you go to hug your partner and think about how it makes them feel. And then decide how you want them to feel in that moment and let your heart speak with you hands.

Best wishes  -SirHanz
 

Love language

There are many different ways to show affection and love. For some people they feel it most through words, for others they feel affection through actions or acts of kindness/service. Some feel loved when their partner makes time for them…or makes them feel special through encouragement…

For me though.. it’s touch. When a partner wants to touch me… I feel loved. It can be something as simple as holding my hand, or a hug. Or something with a deeper feeling of connection like a kiss or a massage. This is one of the reasons that physical affection is one of the things I look for in a submissive. It makes me feel loved and cared for when they want to touch me.

I have always been like that to some extent. But due to probable trauma caused by how past relationships ended it had grown into not only something I want.. but something I need. It is never easy to admit your own insecurities or things that make you feel insecure. Especially in the content of a relationship. So with that in mind.. here are all of mine.

Anything that makes me feel like there is a growing distance between me and someone I love. This can be lack of communication, lack of contact, or being ignored. All of those make me feel insecure and I start to second guess all my words and actions. I can deal with it.. but it makes me feel unloved.

False accusations. To be accused of doing or saying something hurtful without talking to me about it first. Especially something that could be interpreted in several different ways. I NEVER want to harm someone I love. If I did harm unintentionally I want more than anything to fix it. Knowing that and accusing me anyway is hurtful and makes me feel insecure. I will probably feel like I am walking on eggshells around that person for a period of time after that.

I am insecure about my appearance. The want to touch reassures me that the person finds me attractive. Without it I honestly dont have a vary good opinion of how I look. This is something I am working on. But it’s not easy.

I would be interested to know what others love language is, and why. If you feel like shareing feel free to write it In the comments.

Best wishes. -SirHanz