Kink 102

This post will focus on the second thing on my kink list.

Restraints.

Traditionally in the bdsm world restraints ment one of three things.

Cuffs. (leather or metal) I include all types of cuffs on this category.

Collars. Not all collars are restraints but most can be used in that way.

Rope. Probably the first restraint ever invented. I also include straps of any kind in this category. Rope comes in a veriaty of materials and sizes, each with their own unique tactile sensations and uses.

Now days we have a lot more options. Zip ties, metal brackets, and all kinds of devious devices though up by people world wide.

Ok… so we know what tools are available. And a quick stroll through home depo will yield a cornucopia of different restraint products. Now that you have your restraints… how do you use them? And why is this kinky?

First of all… before you go crazy with the rope or start cuffing your submissive to things around the house there are a few things you need to learn.

Anatomy.

I can’t stress enough how important this is. Knowing how the body moves and how and where blood is supplied to the different parts of the body is crucial to haveing a good time without harming your submissive. There are a ton of good resources online. Use them. Knowing how not to harm your sub is a big fucking deal, and you can do serious damage if you dont understand what you are doing. Especially with things like rope, ties and straps. You can cause loss of motor function by cuting off blood supply for to long, bruse or damage organs, or leave permanent marks on their body.

Wait… wait… if it has all those risks.. why is it kinky and not just dangerous?

Well my dear readers.. that is PRECISELY why. To bind or restrain someone they have to trust that you will not hurt them. The fear is still there though and mixes with the desire of the submissive to form a wonderful cocktail of endorphins. If done with skill and a willing partner you have effectively just drugged your submissive…. with a rope. Depending on the submissive and their connection with the dominant in some cases this can even lead to a feeling of intoxication. It’s called getting “rope drunk”. This is another form of subspace.

And as for the dom? What do they get out of it?

Power. Control. Freedom.

We bind to feel powerful… even if you would never harm your submissive in any way, when they are bound and helpless… you could. Knowing that they are completely at your mercy.. and that they wanted to be.. that is vary sexy.

We bind to control. If a dominant wants to control the movement of a submissive… say.. for a whiping, spanking, or just some good rough sex they may want to bind their submissive. This can be liberating for the sub as they dont have to try to hold themselves in a position and refrain from struggling. They can just let go and experience whatever the dom has planned.

We bind to be free. When you have a submissive restrained there is a huge feeling of freedom. Even if you had previously negotiated the scene and are holding to your agreement.. there is still the feeling that you can do whatever you want. Even though you are in control and wouldn’t abuse your position it still feels like you can do anything you want, no hesitation, no permission needed. You feel it.. and your sub feels it… and that combined with the trust that you could crush them but won’t… its intence.

And finaly… the visual appeal. Seeing your submissive tied, cuffed, restrained… is quite frankly beautiful. I myself enjoy just siting back and watching for a while after I have restrained a sub. Maybe it’s the artist in me but the smallest details in their expressions and movements come into sharp focus. Even the contrast of light and shadow becomes more vivid for me. And damm if that’s not beautiful and sexy.

So there you go.. the second part of my kink list rundown.

Stay tuned -SirHanz