4 years

Holy crap… has it been that long? I am usually not good at remembering dates but there are a few I remember. My birthday (usually), the week that we often get our first cool weather after the brutal summer. And the last time I had sex.. yup… 4 years ago tomorrow. Its amazing how time just seems to slip by. There were times when 4 days without sex seemed like way too long.. it’s not the longest I have gone without.. after (she who shall not be named) I pretty much retreated from the world for about 6 years and was celibate through that time. Though it was not by choice, frankly at that point in my life I was fairly broken emotionally and I knew it. I knew I couldn’t deal with the risk of being hurt any more so I hid. I barely saw my family, and pretty much my only contact with people was work and my brother. It took me a long time to come back from that.. but eventually I did. At least this time i came out of the relationship more or less intact though with a few extra scars.

Hmm… was just thinking that Instead of mourning and bemoaning my lack of intemicy tomorrow… maybe I will buy a cake. With four candles that I can laughingly blow out and wish there will not be a fifth. Have a little party and appreciate how sweet it will be when I once again get to experience that joy and passion.

Best wishes -sirhanz

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