Marketing awesomeness

Macdonald’s in japan released a new clear cup for its summer drinks. Boy on one side girl on the other. As you empty the cup you see them innocently kissing. Cute right?

But if you tip the cup…🤣🤣

Hahahahaha… awesome. Well done mc kinksters. 😆

Best wishes -SirHanz

Unicorns.

Usually people think one of two things about unicorns.

A. They dont exist

B. They are beautiful magical creatures

But I am here to give you the truth.. they do exist, they are magical, and they will fucking kill you.

First let’s cover the basics. Unicorns are predators. Ever wonder why they are so beautiful? Why they sparkle and glow? Its because they eat thousands of God dammed fairies. Entire populations… decimated by a single unicorn. They use this glamorous beauty to fool their pray into thinking they are harmless and gentle. They are not. Ever seen a unicorn? Of course not. Because your still alive. They dont leave witnesses.

Here is an example of what we see when we look at a unicorn.

Now here is an artist’s rendition of what unicorns actually look like. An artist must be used because their actual appearance doesn’t show up on film.

You really want to pet that?

They have even been known to travel in packs.

Now let’s learn a bit more about unicorns.

Unicorns are one of the few animals that also kill for sport. Thousands each year are wounded and killed by unicorn attacks. But no one knows because the victims, even if they live would never be believed.

We have always known about the unicorn menace. Some early historians even tried to warn future generations.

Here you can see that unicorns cant climb trees, thanks to brave historians we now have a method of escaping the stabbing devils. Run away whenever you can and immediately call the authoritys best equipped to handle a rampaging unicorn.

But if you get cornered without a tree to climb… remember to try to direct the head away from yourself by any means necessary.

And if by some miracle you do manage to down one of the beasts… they taste like rainbows because of all the fairies they consume.

So remember.. run if you see one. Do not try to pet or capture it. Climb a tree if you are able. Contact authoritys. And if you see the posted signs….

Turn around and walk away.

Saving the human race from the unicorn menace -SirHanz

Diet. Day 1.

Soo.. fail. Had tacos. Well.. they were fryed portabella mushroom and pickled carrot with avocado tacos.. so not too bad.. but… it was both fried food and tacos all at once. So.. not so bad? . . . . . . . I can hear you laughing at me. 😑😏 ah! But I made up for it! 20min on the elliptical should balance the calories from 2 tacos. . . . And a coke. 180 calories in a coke? Are you shitting me? Fuck! Back to the elliptical. . . . In a bit.. maybe.. fuck it, I will just have a salad tomorrow and feel good about my body image in the morning. Tonight I want a beer. Anyone know how many calories are in a hefeweizen? And do I count the lemon wedge?

Also.. how the hell can every other profile on tinder be a pic of some lady working her ass of in a gym and still claim they are not a masochist? You are literally torturing yourself to look good. I think that’s awsome but let’s not lie to ourselves. A gym is a trick played apon lady’s by a vary clever sadist. “Hay! I have an idea.. ladys will actually pay us to torture themselves if we tell them it will make them more attractive ” brilliant. Fucking genius level sadisum.

*facepalm* and I am just as big a sucker as any of them. Time for crunches and pushups. Worst part is I cant even cheat and not do as many even though no one is watching because dammit I would know.

Bettering myself with vitriol -SirHanz

Update: my little workout buddy cookie helped by laying on my chest while I did crunches.. and biteing my chin. Helped with pushups by encouraging me by biteing my ankles and trying to hump my leg. . . You know.. so I would have to do them while shaking him off.

Pie.

Now for something a little lighter than my last post/rant.

Someone set me on a pie kick today so I thought I would talk a bit about that beautiful round luscious thing we call pie. Let’s start with what makes a good pie.

1. It needs to be nice and hot.

2. It needs to be soft so you get a great mouth feel.

3. If you will probably need a napkin when your done you know it’s good.

4. If you taste it and want to eat the whole pie.

5. If it you can just see that sweet gooey filling that makes you just want to stick your fingers all inside it and drip it into your mouth.

WOAH! What the hell are you thinking about! We are just talking about pie here.. sheesh.. gonna go blind with thoughts like that..

And what goes great when your eating pie? Ice…. cream. Just drop it right on top of that hot pie and go at it! Its delicious! You may want to have a damp towel ready.. good pie with ice cream can leave your hands and face a bit sticky.

🤣😂🤣😂

😏 best wishes.. -SirHanz

Knowing and Understanding

Gather round folks, time for another installment of “things I feel like talking about ”

Today’s chapter… the difference between knowing and understanding.

But first a joke.

A sub is sweeping the floor, but she has the broom turned sideways and it’s not working vary well. Another sub comes over and explains how to sweep and even shows her an example. The first sub goes right back to trying to sweep with the edge of the broom. The helpful sub “no no no! Here, I will show you again..” she demonstrates again and hands the broom back. The first sub starts sweeping with the edge of the broom again. A dom walks over, grabs the broom from the sub, hits her three times on the ass with it and yells “do it right!” The sub immediately starts sweeping correctly. The helpful sub “I just showed you how to do that! Why didn’t you listen to me!” The first sub “well you didn’t explain it like he did!”

This is a tough one to put into words. How can you know something and not understand it? Let’s put this in the context of a sub who has been given instruction on a particular task. They may remember the task and the steps they need to complete to finish it… and that’s knowing. But understanding? Let’s look at what that would require. Do they know why they are being told to do the task? How does the task serve their dom? What will they learn from doing this? How will they feel when they are done? How will the dom feel? Ect..

Answer all those deeper questions and you have understanding. See the difference? It is knowing to memorize. But this in itself doesn’t bring understanding. We should always be seeking those deeper layers. Thinking about things that we know from different angles and slowly changing that knowledge to understanding.

And now you know. But ask yourself, do I understand?

Cooken der tatters

Der chickie vert ter tatter? Bork bork.

Uuup, der tatter en der choppen, und der two pownder tatters.

Chop, bork, in der bowl.

Ern, der oil der tatters. Bork bork.

Tossen der tatters vert der oil.

Salt, bork, gerlec purder, bork bork.

Ern der pan sperd der tatters.

Ern der uven fer ferty tic tock, un der hot hot fer vifty. Bork bork.

Eaten der tatters bork!

Man rules.

1. If I am wearing it…. it’s a napkin.

2. Every tool in the toolbox is a hammer. Except the screwdriver, and that’s a pry bar.

3. If the trash can is not full and you ask me to take it out.. I will forget.

4. If I cook, you do dishes.

5. Never ask if we think your fat. It’s a trap and no matter what we say we look like an ass.

6. If it itches… it will be scratched. Deal with it.

7. Let us oggle. We are going to look anyway, its genetic.

8. Ask for what you want. Hints of any kind do not work. Just say it!

9. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one makes you sad or angry, we ment the other one.

10. If we ask what’s wrong the answer should never be “nothing “