What lies behind the eyes that fill with stars..
Look deeply through the vail of entropy..
The burning heart of a thousand suns crushed by the will of inevitable darkness…
The endless grace of the abyss unravels in a reflection of scattered moonlight..
A quark of fate, fleeting beauty that draws the eye to wonderous symmetry…
Entangled light binds the unknown to the real..
And somewhere in the depths, a billion years from now she will hear my voice..
Reaching out from the shadows of memory.
1. What is the worst mistake you have made as a dom?
Hmm.. let me preface this by saying I have made a LOT of mistakes. But I have tried to learn and better myself because of them. But the worst? Easy question. Jumping in too fast. Not realy getting to know the sub well enough before becoming responsible for them. I was young and inexperienced and the whole lifestyle was shining and new. But I have learned that is one of my weaknesses to want to just jump right in. So when I want to go fast, I go slow. Sometimes this can scare off potential submissives because they want a dom RIGHT NOW. But that’s not what I want. And if they want to submit to me then going slow at first will be part of that submission.
2. What experience do you have?
It varies depending on what what we are talking about.. dynamic experience? I would say I have moderate experience, with my first sub we had a good punishment dynamic for most of our relationship, with the second sub it was more of a 1950s household dynamic, and with my last sub it was a 1950s household/ babygirl dynamic. Play experience? Lol where to even begin.. it would probably be faster to list the things I dont have experience with. Let’s just say I have a LOT of play experience. Relationship experience? I am no player. I have had 4 sexual partners in my life. Yup. You heard me. All of my relationships have been committed long term. I have been with my current partner for 18years.
3. Do you have any set rules?
A lot of rules change depending on the needs of a sub but there is one rule that is consistent across any dynamic. Journaling. I have the submissive keep a journal which they must write in every day. They can write whatever they want but it must be at least half a page and must always include how they are feeling. They must always write the truth. I read the journal and promise never to judge or be angry or punish them for anything they write. It is an open line of communication. And a lot of the time it is easier to express a thought or need through writeing.
4. What are your limits?
Hard limits: Nothing illegal obviously, no scat, no needles (they give me the willies), no beastiality, no sharing with other doms, no sleep deprivation (I want my submissive well rested).
5. Do you have children?
No natural children, I do have a step daughter that I helped raise since she was vary young. She is now 21 and lives on her own.
6. What does a D/s relationship look like to you?
Wow, this is a big one.. a lot depends on the wants and needs of the submissive. I do enjoy being taken care of by my submissive in pretty much any way. But other than that I believe that is something to be worked out on an individual basis.
7. What would you expect form as submissive and what could they expect from you?
Trust, affection, love, communication, a sence of connection. Those are things that I would expect to both give and receive. From the submissive my expectations change depending on what they enjoy. I am fairly flexible. (not literally) but I do expect the submissive to be devoted to only me. As for what they can expect from me? Care, compassion when wanted, discipline when needed, protection, consideration of their wants and needs, help in personal growth, and care for their health and fitness. (Yes, if you are out of shape we will be working out together)
8. Are you looking for a stay at home submissive or a working one?
A working one. I want the submissive to have pride in what they do. Haveing a job makes it more meaningful for me when the submissive chooses to submit. Because they have no reason that they would need to other than they want me as a dominant.
9. Do you want a punishment dynamic?
I do enjoy it quite a bit but it’s not a dealbreaker.
10. What type of punishments do you use?
Well…… I am a sadist…. so dont expect a quick slap on the ass then to call it a day. I’m not going to ruin the surprise though (that’s half the fun for me, the submissive not knowing what I may do) but know I would never do anything that would harm a submissive unless specifically asked to do so by the submissive. And even then I would have to give it serious thought. I am vary creative though so I will leave it up to your imagination to think of all the things I may do as punishment.
11. Do you enjoy funishment? (Funishment is when a submissive playfully acts “naughty” in order to receive a “punishment” they enjoy.)
Yes.
12. Are you a patient person or do you look for immediate compliance?
I am one of the most patient people you may ever meet. I can wait a LONG time when I feel it is called for. But if what a submissive needs is to be pushed then I am equally happy to so that.
13. Is it ok to play with others?
No. I am not possessive but I am protective. If I would not loan someone my dog I definitely would not loan or share a submissive. Their submission is a gift I charish and protect. They are free to leave at any time but if they do they are no longer mine to protect, they have taken that power for themselves and I will wish them well.
14. Do you share your submissives?
As above, no.
15. Will you respect that there are parts of the submissives life you will have no authority over?
Of course, if that is their wish why wouldn’t i?
16. Do you drink?
Yes but I dont get drunk often (maybe once in the last 5 years. I am a happy drunk but I dont like the feeling of being out of control) I may have a beer with dinner or a glass of wine. maybe a mixed drink if we go out and I am not driving.
17. Are you a cuddler?
Yes. Love it.
18. Are you religious?
Ironically no. I enjoy learning about all different religions and even work at a hindu temple but I dont follow any set religion. Probably the closest I would get to a religion is Buddhist philosophy. I do beleave there is a God or possibly many gods but I also believe that a being that is virtually infinite in power and wisdom is by definition completely uncomprehensible to the limited human mind. Beware anyone that says they know what God wants.
19. How do you feel about marriage?
If you are together then you are together. It’s a piece of paper for tax purposes. I have never been married but I am not strictly opposed to the idea.
20. Do you use safe words?
Yes. The submissive must always have the opportunity to stop, weather It be a safeword or if gagged something in the hand to drop in place of the word.
21. Has a sub ever used the ” Nuclear option “?
No, I have never had a sub walk away because of something I have done. I am basically a good (if sometimes forgetful) guy after all.
Our world is interconnected on a level unprecedented in the history of the human race. This has created many good and amazing things. We exchange ideas with and learn from other cultures. We are able to speak to people all over the globe in an instant from wherever we are. We can enjoy places far away without ever leaving our home.
But there is a price. And you dont even realize your paying it. With knowledge comes responsibility. We are compelled to act by our own human nature to fix things that are unjust or cruel or heartbreaking. But here’s the catch. You cant fix it.
War, pain, death, sadness, cruelty, indifference, prejudice.. we are constantly bombarded with stories and images of these things happening here and across the world. Famine, suffering… we hear about these things every day. And somehow we have gotten it into our heads that suddenly our whole world is more dangerous and scary than it used to be. Well.. I have news for you. It has always been like this. You just didnt know. And now we hear about a lady out for a jog getting raped and suddenly think twice about going for a run. But is it any less safe now than before? I dont think it is. Now we simply know about all the crap that is happening in the world. But that has always been happening. It’s not new or different. But now that we know it creates anxiety and stress. We feel helpless at being unable to stop or fix things even though we have no power to do so.
This is the price. And for some it can be devastating. Good people that were joyful happy people now suffer fear and anxiety disorders because they cant help and dont feel safe anymore. They are no less safe than 20 years ago but now because of what we have seen and learned we feel like we are.
We need to learn to separate ourselves and our environment from what we see and hear in the news or read online. We need to rebuild the feeling of safety and freedom. But how do we do that?
Self care. Go for that run. Read a book. Sit on the porch with a cup of tea and listen to the sound of wind in the trees. Lay in the grass and watch the clouds. Take time to appreciate all the wonderful little things that you haven’t done in a long time because you were too busy or focused on things you cant change. When was the last time you felt the bark of a tree under your hands? Or watched the stars laying on the driveway in winter? Reconnect with your own world, and you will worry less about the world thousands of miles away.
I will leave you with this..
Ignorance may be bliss.. but we no longer have that luxury. So be aware of the price of knowledge and understand that things are no worse then when when you didnt know.
Best wishes -SirHanz
So yesterday was a bit more exhausting than I anticipated. I spent almost all day trimming oak branches from the bucket of the backhoe.
I actually enjoy trimming the trees, they grow better and are more healthy. Plus I enjoy the challenge. You need to plan out your cuts to get the best result for the tree, and at the same time make shure you are not going to get hit with 200lbs of falling branch. (I occasionally fail at that. Sometimes they snap as your cutting and twist around on you.) Then comes the physical challenge of maneuvering the chainsaw into just the right angle while leaning out from the bucket. (Sometimes the positions you end up cutting from are something dreamed up by an insane yoga instructor. ) Anyone can do it a few times but it’s a real test of endurance to do it for hours on end. Especially when it’s 98 degrees, the wind is blowing sawdust in your face and eyes, and the sun is directly behind the branch you are trying to cut.
So I finish out my day, pick up my check and go to the bank. Grab a couple sandwiches for dinner on the way home. (There is no way I feel up to cooking after a day like that). Then home and into the shower for a much needed scrub and shave. Both face and head were feeling a bit scruffy.
Finally it’s time to eat.. I plant myself on the couch, bring up the chef show on Netflix and proceed to devour my sandwich. When I am done i put aside my plate and cookie comes and lays across my lap. (Cute untill you realize he is just snuffleing for sandwich crumbs). And that’s when it hits me. Holy hell I am tired.. can’t even finish the episode I’m watching. Apparently I managed to drag myself to bed, I have only foggy memories of doing so.
I awoke this morning at about 5am. Today is a day off so I am just laying in bed with a cup of tea trying to gather my scattered thoughts and plan my day. Going to try one more time to find the leak in the coolant system of the car. If I cant find it then it’s off to the mechanic to get charged an arm and a leg to fix one tiny hose or something. Yah.. realy hope it doesn’t come to that. But that can all wait.. right now I have a dog at my feet, a nice cup of earl gray and the quiet of the morning to soothe my thoughts.
Best wishes -SirHanz
This is a tough concept for some doms to wrap their head around. I’m not talking about paying Bills and other general adulting. Oh no.. I speak of the responsibility of a dom to his sub. That’s the deal you see.. the sub gives you power, control, pleasure, happiness. And in return the dom is responsible for the sub. But what does that mean?
It may change a bit from one dom to the next but here are the things it should always cover.
As a dom you are responsible for..
The general happiness of the submissive.
The continued growth of the submissive.
The health and fitness of the submissive.
The fulfillment of the submissives desires.
The safety of the submissive.
The mental health of the submissive.
Sounds like a lot of work doesn’t it? Well.. it is. A good domanent enjoys the work but it can still be exhausting. And I here you newer doms out there thinking “but wouldn’t that mean the dom is serving the sub?” In a way we do. But the difference is that everything we do is by our own will. We dont do these things because we are asked, or forced. We choose to take responsibility. And how we live up to those responsibilities is our choice.
Best wishes -SirHanz
Ok.. so you have met someone that your interested in as a dominant or submissive.. what now?
Well.. a lot depends on the people but a safe bet would be to meet in person and have ether dinner, coffee, or a drink. These are always good settings because they are public places and you want the person you are meeting to be as comfortable as possible.
If all goes well then make plans to meet again. If not, then dont hesitate to leave. You are under no obligation to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable in a bad way. (Yes, you can be uncomfortable in a good way)
If you meet again and all seems good then it’s up to you what to do next. Just be as open and honest as possible. Not only does that help establish trust, but if they reject you for being honest then your better off without them. (No matter how hot they are)
To those who are already experienced with bdsm this should all be old hat. But remember that not everyone who enjoys bdsm has actually been in a D/s dynamic before and may be extremely nervous about meeting someone. Especially if they dont understand what to do and how to be safe. So really this post is for them.
Trust your gut. If you get the feeling the person sitting across from you is bad news.. there is probably a reason. And establishing trust when your feeling like that is almost impossible anyway.
Plan ahead. Dont wait till the last minute to try to primp and dress. Plan out what your going to wear and how you want to be seen ahead of time. This is one less thing you will have to be nervous about.
Talk to a friend. Make shure someone knows where your going and maybe even arrange for a phone call at a specific time for them to check up on you.
Have fun. Its supposed to be fun remember? Enjoy yourself.
Best wishes -SirHanz
So now that I am back on the market per say I am reminded of challenges I have faced in the past when trying to find a submissive partner. The foremost of these is that I am a nice guy.
Now usually that is an attractive quality in a man. But i have found that often in the bdsm community it is actually a hindrance. Especially if the submissive is new.
Correct me if i am wrong.. but i have noticed a lot of submissives build an image of their ideal dom in there head. If you are a single submissive reading this then take a moment and think about what this ideal dom looks and acts like..
I will bet you a spanking not one of you thought you wanted a nice guy. For some reason “nice” doesn’t mix with fantasy. And fantasy is how we choose reality. When is the last time someone held the door for you and you thought “damm I bet he is a good dom” …. nope. Not gonna happen. But when a guy is acting like he is entitled to the submission of everyone in the room then that’s hot? Why is that? The guy is obviously an asshat. But first impressions matter. And his first impression is “dom”. And the nice guy’s impression is “oh.. that was nice of him.. now let’s go back to looking at the dom”
Now I am not saying that all submissives want to be with an asshat. Some do, and to each their own. But most if you ask them what they want in a dom they will describe the nice guy.
So where’s the disconnect? Why want the nice caring dom and yet totally ignore him for the angry asshat? I have actually heard a submissive say “dont talk to him, he looks like he would be too nice.” *facepalm* seriously?? Now with online dating fortunately it forces you to write a profile and you can usually sort the good from the bad. But in person.. we dont come with a profile.
So next time your getting hit on by 3 doms at once and just loveing the attention, take a step back and notice the guy who was polite enough not to hit on you when you were already being bombarded by “submit to me now” instadoms. Because let me tell you.. more than likely, they dont want to make you happy.
Food for thought.
Best wishes. -SirHanz
The sun was still high as he showed her to the table on the patio..
She walked out the door a half step behind him, the heat hit her like a wave…
The vary air seemed to sizzle. Above the metal grate of the table the air rippled like water..
Without a word he pulled out the seat for her, she slid into the seat wincing as her naked thighs beneath the sundress touched the hot metal…
A bead of sweat began a slow journey down her neck..
Smiling, he sat across from her and pulled away the cloth covering their food.
She eyed his bowl… ice cream.. of course it was…
Now openly grinning he spoke as he retrieved his spoon.”shall we enjoy our meal?”
Her eyes turned downward.. excited.. dreading… chilli..
The smell of peppers and cumin wraped around her her thoughts focused on his dancing eyes.. damm him.. and I bet he made it spicey too…
Determined to not show weakness she primly lifted her spoon and casually popped a bite in her mouth..
His grin widened as sweat began to bead on her brow.. here it comes… she chewed, swallowed, and smiled at him.. “it’s good sir.. thank……” she lunged for the glass of water..
Hot! Too hot! Why? Why was the water not helping? She looked at the frosty glass.. glass… the God dammed glass was frosted! The water was hot!
She could almost hear the leaves on the tree beside them crisping in the heat..
Sweat rolled between her breasts.. darkening her sundress with salty moisture..
He watched her over his spoon loaded with vanilla sweet cream… her hand shook..
She set her spoon carefully down beside the bowl.. “it’s too hot sir… ” she knew she was disobeying.. finding excuses..
His spoon clinked loudly agenst the bowl, startling her and drawing her attention to him…
“Eat .. your.. dinner.” He was no longer smileing… she was trying to take control… and he would have none of it.
He rose from his chair, moving to stand behind her..
What was he doing? She dared not look… her mouth still felt like she had swallowed burning coals..
Leather touched her bare sholder.. just resting there.. she could smell the oil that kept it supple, and just barely see it from the corner of here eye..
The belt… he had taken off his belt.. the realization hit her like an out of control bus…he had known it was too hot.. he had planned this..
And the thought made her want for more… he had been in control.. from the vary first moment.
Her shoulders slumped.. she hung her head..
His voice whispered in her ear… “will you eat what I have so lovingly prepared for you?”
There could be only one answer.. and she knew it… she shook her head no..
He slipped the belt around her neck, pulling upward.. she scrambled to rise so as not to choke…
He could see her curves beneath the light fabric as it clung to her damp skin..
She wore nothing underneath..
She was held there.. the leather biteing into her neck for only a moment.. it felt like forever..
“Naughty girls..” with a flick of his hand he slipped the straps of her dress from her shoulders…
“Get punished..” gripping the back of her dress he yanked downward.. flowers strewn across fabric cascaded in a flurry to rest around her feet…
She could feel the heat of the sun beat down apon her pale flesh… exposed.. but only for him…
He walked around the table, still holding the belt and with a jerk pulled her forward bending her over the hot metal of the table..
Her thighs touched the rim of the table and she had to bite back a yelp.. dear maker that was hot!
She pulled testingly at the belt as he tied the belt to a table leg… she was bent at the waist and had just enough room to not touch the hot metal if she kept vary still…
Her breath became rapid as she strained to hold the position.. the heat radiating off the table made her whole body flush.. she could smell the hot iron inches below her..
While she was distracted by her predicament he again slipped behind her and scooped an ice cube from his water…
Sweat dripped from her now.. droplets falling from her chin and belly..
Heat begun to radiate from within her as well.. it was not only salt that slicked her thighs..
She cried out and jerked as the ice shocked the skin in the small of her back… her hips touched.. her nipples touched… heat seared tender flesh…
She pushed herself backward.. desperate.. frantic to escape the burning pain… and impaled herself on his waiting member..
Again she cried out.. a moaning lust filled noise of desperation and need..
He smirked as she threw herself backward apon him.. wrapping her hair around his hand he pulled her face up and away from the blazing table..
He bent and lips still chilled from his frozen treat kissed the back of her neck..
She felt herself give way as he pushed deeper.. and his lips.. when they touched her.. they became… everything…
He could feel the moment when she let go.. giving herself to him.. wanting him.. to take..
His hand rested on the middle of her back between her shoulders.. she was chaos.. frantically pressing back against him… he was control.. steady, but giving no rest..
His hand pressed down..
She felt the pressure in the midst of dream like pleasures.. she knew what it ment.. he would not have to force her.. she wanted it.. needed it.. she would show him her submission..
She let go.. her body went limp..
The table shook.. she screamed out her orgasum as belly and chest and hips exploded with pain… and pleasure.. and something that was more without even a name..
His mind reeled.. she had.. willingly.. for him..
He threw back his head.. convuseing within her.. she was his.. without any dought..
The hot breeze smelled of fresh cut grass and dried out wood..
He lifted her.. undoing the belt.. holding her cradled in his arms..
Her face was wet.. tears and sweat mixed apon her cheeks.. he gently kissed the red marks apon her chest..
She moaned.. still shaken.. still shakeing.. where was she.. it didnt matter.. she was with him..
He sat on the couch inside.. still holding her… letting her bask in the cool dry air.. “you did well. I am proud of you, and I accept your gift in the spirit with which it was given.”
Fresh tears welled in her eyes.. not from pain or ecstasy, but gratitude and love..
He held her like that.. slowly giving her cool water.. running gentle fingers across the diamond shaped marks on her belly..
Each time his calloused hands touched her… she would remember… she snuggled closer..
remembering the moment she became his…
Best wishes -SirHanz
Today was a bit of a mixed bag as it turns out. Managed to fix the backhoe even in this heat.
Saved a turtle. And saw a fawn as I was leaving the temple.
Got to the store to get groceries, came out and was putting food in the car when I saw a thin puddle comeing out from under the car. Antifreeze. Now keep in mind at this point I have been out in the heat for 8+ hours. And now I have to drive home with it leaking and try to fix it before I need to go in to work in the morning. *sigh* some days are just a mixed bag. Think I will take a little time to cool down in the ac before trying to find the leak.
Thought I would share a bit of my day.
Had a tiny praying mantis sit on my finger.
Rescued a turtle from the road.
Enjoyed the blooming crapemertal trees.
Knotty Thoughts 