Pain and pleasure

The mixture of pain and pleasure all steeped like dark tea in the cocktail of endorphins can be a wonderful and heady brew. In reading another blog today I got to thinking about our body’s ability to adapt and our brains ability to normalize pain.
 First let’s look at the body. Skin is one of the most sensitive organs of the body. In the context of pain it is the early warning system that teaches our brain to avoid damage. When just starting out in bdsm you may look at more experienced people and think “oh gawd.. there is no way I would enjoy that! That must hurt like crazy!” But the way their brain processes pain is different.  When the skin feels pain the brain is sent a damage signal and somewhere deep in our subconscious we think “death imanant! Run away!”. But when repeated many times over and no lasting harm or death occurs… something changes in our brain. We start to ignore it. Oh.. you still feel it. But the brain has shut down many of the nerve endings and the sharp intensity you once felt is no longer there. And so in order to recapture that feeling we may choose to use the cane instead of the crop. Or the paddle instead of the hand. The change in sensation to one the brain has not learned is “ok” puts you right back in that “danger! Damage imanant!” Mode that triggers the wonderful rush of endorphins. 

 Now let’s look at the mind, and how pain is processed.  I touched on that a bit with the skin mind connection but there is a lot more going on up there than the subconscious responses.  When pain and pleasure are mixed it forms a mental connection between the two over time.  Pain in certain areas becomes a trigger to evoke memories of pleasure.  Getting a slap on the ass goes from “ouch!” To “mmmmmmmm”. 
 The memory of pleasure overrides the momentary sting.  Once that link has been made the mind seeks out that intense feeling once more. And when it becomes a desire.. we crave it. The human brain is a marvel, its ability to adapt to just about anything has made us the dominant species on the planet.  And in bdsm we exploit that adaptability. Each time we experience that rush of openness and complete vulnerability often referred to as subspace our brain begins to see it as more and more normal. And thus it is easyer to slip back into. Our use of pain and pleasure combined while enjoyable is merely the key that unlocks that part of our mind. I dont speak from personal experience as I have not been in subspace before. Though I look forward to it. I spent quite a bit of time observing and learning about it through a combination of anatomy, psychology,  and talking to the submissives I have worked with in the past.
 I hope you have enjoyed my little diversion into the topic.
  Best wishes  -SirHanz


Today I wanted to talk about touch. One of the main aspects of bdsm, or most any kind of dynamic.  Touch can convay a huge veriaty of things. A gentle push or firm grip can direct movement or the desire for your partner to move in a particular way. The sensual brush of fingertips can speak volumes of love or affection.  A slap on the ass can excite or remind your partner to behave… or both lol.

Touch can be delicate and so gentle the need for more can be almost painful. Or it can be rough and draw out the most primal of emotions. 

 Knowing where to touch or just how much pressure or duration to convay a feeling or elicit a desired response is a skill like any other. Some people need vary little practice to master a musical instrument.  Some need to spend years practicing.  But the important thing is that you understand which notes your playing so that when it comes time to perform you can just lose yourself in the music. And just like playing an instrument a flute is not a violin. People are different and their responses will be as well. Learn the theory then learn the instrument.  Experiment with your partner and pay close attention to how they feel and their reactions.  Find the best way to speak without ever saying a word.

The old saying actions speek louder than words is definitely true. Understanding and convaying feelings or ideas through touch leaves a much more lasting impression on the mind. And some people (like me) crave that kind of connection.  And others that dont… I believe have not truly experienced it and dont know what they are missing.

 Take a moment next time you go to hug your partner and think about how it makes them feel. And then decide how you want them to feel in that moment and let your heart speak with you hands.

Best wishes  -SirHanz

The hawk

The crested hawk circles, the air is cool high above the ground. Currents of invisible ether lift and buffet wings like knives that cut the air. A tilt of the head and sharp eyes focus apon the earth below. Tiny moments draw attention, a mouse… thinking itself hidden chewing tiny seeds. One beat.. then two.. wings snap inward and head dips low. Air roars in the ears quieted by tiny fethers just enough to prevent damage. Faster.. the mouse is unaware. The shadow of a cloud covers the sinking sun.

Wings extend by effort of will faster still as the hawk skims the ground. Talons stretch, glittering black in the last rays of day. Each curved dagger of bone honed over thousands of years of evolution just for this moment. A tiny squeak and a patch of fur amidst the grass. The mouse is gone.

The hawk climbs once again, food for hungry bundles of fluff tucked beneath it. A tiny droplet of red falls from its pray. Downward… a ruby against the fiery blossom of sunset. Past the glimmering towers of glass, tumbling in the tumultuous twilight breeze. Down.. into the alley filled with the sounds of cars and carnal lust.

The lady pressed her hands agenst the dark granite of the wall. She could see the fading colors of the sky as the man in the coat behind her grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head backwards causing her to arch her back. The lady’s mouth opened, her cries of pleasure lost amidst the echoes of the city. He was inside her, filling… pressing.. grinding..the lady’s arms began to shake.

The man in the coat’s breath heaved in his chest like a great bellows. He held nothing back, giving this goddess any less felt like some kind of dark sin. The lady’s arms gave out and he pressed her firmly but gently into the cold stone wall.

The lady’s exposed chest pressed apon the chill of glass like stone. She layed her cheek apon it, feeling her sensitive flesh rubbing hard against it with each deep thrust. She could see the man from the corner of her eye, his coat open to reveal firm muscle that rolled with tension as his hands dug into her hips through her hiked up skirt.

The lady reached back her arms, spreading herself.. wanting him deeper. She gasped as the man hooked his forearms under her thighs and lifted her off of him. For a moment she felt fear, then exhilaration as her legs fell forward over his shoulders. She hung suspended apon him as she felt his mouth cease apon her his tounge delving velvet soft inside her. Pleasure gripped her, her head was spinning. The world hung suspended above her, and pressed just beneath her chin was the throbbing shaft still slick with her juices.

The lady felt droplets of her overflowing wetness land on the underside of her chest as she slid him past her lips. The man moaned, the vibration sending her over the edge, her thighs gripped the sides of his head pressing him against her as every muscle tensed. She felt him swallow as she flooded his mouth with her lust. She sucked hard, tightening her lips around him. The man groaned and twitched agenst her tounge, she knew he was close. He cried out his pleasure between her thighs, each movement of his mouth sending little shocks of ecstasy up her spine.

She wraped her arms around his legs pulling him into her, she felt the mans legs harden and shake beneath her hands. She tasted his salty treat spill into her thick and warm in the heat of her mouth.

Neither noticed the tiny droplet of liquid rose land softly next to them in the dust. High above them the hawk landed on the edge of the building where it had built its nest. Three pairs of golden eyes opened to see their mother for the first time. Hungrily they opened their mouths for their feist. Far below.. a man in a coat and a lady in a white blouse and wrinkled skirt walked grinning and laughing out of an alley. Holding hands as they were once again folded into the noise and flow of the city.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Bubble bath

The white of soap clings to her,

Water steams in dim light,

Eyes closed.. head back,

A soft cloth to trace her curves,

Beautiful in her relaxation,

Wet skin tempts thoughts of pleasure,

I want to touch.. to kiss..

But I dare not mar the serenity.


Kink 112


I do a lot of heavy lifting and generally physical things at work, so to say i have knots in my muscles is soo the understatement. As a result of this it is rare that I feel completely relaxed. So haveing someone (especially a submissive) work the knots out of sore muscles? Yah.. soooo good. Ever hurt yourself and couldn’t get to the doctor for a couple days? Then you get there and he gives you a pain pill and it feels soooo good just not to be in pain anymore? That’s what it does to me. And if you think haveing a sexy submissive rub the knots out of my back and arms doesn’t make me want to reward them… especially if I can move without feeling stiff or sore… definitely time to play. So is it kinky? No.. not really. But is it a kink to me? Definitely. Even a good hand massage after running a chainsaw all day can be erotic and sexy.

Want to please your hard working dom? Get out the oil and ask him to lay down so you can work on his back and shoulders. And if your in the mood you can strip and give him a nuru massage. (If you dont know what that is google it. Your dom will thank you)

Not only is it physical relaxation but it also releases endorphins makeing you feel good. The sensual contact of skin on skin is also something that calms the mind and gives you a general sense of wellbeing.

Just dont use it as a bribe to keep from getting punished. (Looking at you submissives) your just limbering your dom up to spank you. (Yah.. it may actually work but you will feel bad about it.)

Bottom line is this.. never a bad time for a massage. Its sexy as hell and feels amazing.

Best wishes -SirHanz