Pain and pleasure

The mixture of pain and pleasure all steeped like dark tea in the cocktail of endorphins can be a wonderful and heady brew. In reading another blog today I got to thinking about our body’s ability to adapt and our brains ability to normalize pain.
First let’s look at the body. Skin is one of the most sensitive organs of the body. In the context of pain it is the early warning system that teaches our brain to avoid damage. When just starting out in bdsm you may look at more experienced people and think “oh gawd.. there is no way I would enjoy that! That must hurt like crazy!” But the way their brain processes pain is different. When the skin feels pain the brain is sent a damage signal and somewhere deep in our subconscious we think “death imanant! Run away!”. But when repeated many times over and no lasting harm or death occurs… something changes in our brain. We start to ignore it. Oh.. you still feel it. But the brain has shut down many of the nerve endings and the sharp intensity you once felt is no longer there. And so in order to recapture that feeling we may choose to use the cane instead of the crop. Or the paddle instead of the hand. The change in sensation to one the brain has not learned is “ok” puts you right back in that “danger! Damage imanant!” Mode that triggers the wonderful rush of endorphins.

Now let’s look at the mind, and how pain is processed. I touched on that a bit with the skin mind connection but there is a lot more going on up there than the subconscious responses. When pain and pleasure are mixed it forms a mental connection between the two over time. Pain in certain areas becomes a trigger to evoke memories of pleasure. Getting a slap on the ass goes from “ouch!” To “mmmmmmmm”.
The memory of pleasure overrides the momentary sting. Once that link has been made the mind seeks out that intense feeling once more. And when it becomes a desire.. we crave it. The human brain is a marvel, its ability to adapt to just about anything has made us the dominant species on the planet. And in bdsm we exploit that adaptability. Each time we experience that rush of openness and complete vulnerability often referred to as subspace our brain begins to see it as more and more normal. And thus it is easyer to slip back into. Our use of pain and pleasure combined while enjoyable is merely the key that unlocks that part of our mind. I dont speak from personal experience as I have not been in subspace before. Though I look forward to it. I spent quite a bit of time observing and learning about it through a combination of anatomy, psychology, and talking to the submissives I have worked with in the past.
I hope you have enjoyed my little diversion into the topic.
Best wishes -SirHanz

Anxiety and bdsm

Welcome back to the bdsm portion of my blog. For those of you just here for the poetry… read it anyway! You may learn something!

Anxiety… we all know it. And we all handle it in different ways. But if your a submissive.. there are more options than xanax. The endorphins released during an intensive play session or depending on the submissive… even a just a bit of impact play can do a lot for the alleviation of anxiety. This is often a case of not what you want… but what you need. And a good dominant will recognize the warning signs of building anxiety and work to head it off before it gets too bad.
But there will always be times when ether the dominant cant be there or for some reason is unaware of the submissives mental state. Its times like these when the sub is tested in not only their ability to communicate under duress but their ability to submit when their dominant is not present.
Let’s look at anxiety and its different forms. Low level anxiety is the kind you get when picking out cloaths for a first date. Or the little bit of stage fright when talking to a large crowd. This kind of low level anxiety is fairly common and easy to manage. In a bdsm dynamic some simple words of encouragement or a kind gesture can often elevate this type of anxiety. Mid level anxiety it what you may feel when your in a car wreck or just got arrested. Some people struggle with this kind of anxiety over simple (to the rest of us) decisions. Like what to have for dinner. Or what to wear. Haveing a dominant that can step in and make those decisions for them can give them a lot of peace of mind. Not only that they dont have to make the choice, but also the knowledge that if their anxiety starts to climb in the future the dom will be there to help. High level anxiety is a different beast all together. It can range from panic attacks to full blown inability to function on the most basic levels. This is usually a byproduct of trauma of some kind. Bdsm should never be used as a treatment for this kind of anxiety. However.. in combination with therapy, possibly medication, and other mental health tools… it can be an effective way to supplement that treatment. The mental health tools will help a submissive reduce the high anxiety to mid or low anxiety and the endorphins released through play may help further reduce their stress.
As with most things in bdsm communication is essential. If dropping your submissive into subspace can help hold off a panic attack then that’s something the submissive needs to communicate. If as a dom your not shure how a sub will react if you try to help alleviate anxiety with play, you could do harm instead of good. Many submissives deal with anxiety. Talk to them and find out what they know helps. And if they are not shure if something will help or not.. go slow. Baby steps. And constantly monitor and check in with them to find out if it is helping or makeing things worse.
Now let’s look at what you can do for a full blown panic attack. It will vary person to person but the skills a dom uses in aftercare are often vary effective in helping someone suffering from a panic attack. If possible talk to them and find out what they need in times like that well before it becomes necessary. And if they dont know then treat it like aftercare for an intence impact session. The idea is to refocus the mind away from what is causing the panic and onto something else. Anything you can do to help them focus on what they are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasteing.. will help draw the mind away from the panic. Unless you have experience with this I recommend only doing what the submissive asks or has asked of you. For some any kind of physical touch may only make the panic worse, some it will help. So be careful and know the sub well enough to be able to tell if something is helpful.
So to wrap up… anxiety is a bitch. We all get it. Some get it for reasons others dont. Bdsm or impact play can help some people. But it’s not a cure, it’s a bandage. It’s more important to get the submissive to work on the cause of the anxiety than to just manage it. But if they are or have worked on it and still struggle with anxiety then it can give a needed break from those feelings. Help them refocus, and allow them to think clearly enough to be able to deal with the stress in a healthy way. And that’s what this is all about. Finding healthy ways to deal with anxiety that make the submissive feel connected and cared for.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Degradation

Today I wanted to talk a bit about degradation. In my experience there are two kinds of degrading, positive and negative. Positive degradation you say? What’s that? Well… the classic example I always use is this.

Think about the difference in how you feel if your dominant calls you a “whore, or dirty slut.” VS. If they call you “My gorgeous whore, or my wonderfully dirty slut.” Big difference huh? There is no right or wrong here. Just two vary different aspects. Some people enjoy the feelings they get from the negative, some the positive, and some like nether or both. But the important thing is to know these little nuances and be aware of what it is you enjoy or dont.

Understanding the impact your words have on your submissive is important. And not just that they have an impact, you have to look deeper. And that’s the wonderful thing about a d/s dynamic.. a good dominant WANTS to see those deeper layers. Understanding the psychology behind your actions and your submissives responses gives you more control. The dominant has more control which they enjoy and the submissive enjoys the experience more because the dom understands their reactions better. It benefits both. But I digress…

Some form of open communication is essential to understanding how your words affect your submissive. You can guess by there expressions or physical reactions but you will never be completely shure unless you can talk about it. Usually things are a little more complex that just she gets wet when you call her a whore… what else is she feeling in that moment? Shame? Disappointment? Anger? Sadness? Rebellious? Aroused? Needy? Desired? Often the submissive has not really explored or thought deeply on what they are feeling. They just enjoy it and leave it at that. And that may be just fine for some, but if you crave that deeper level of control… prompt them to think about it. Experiment with different words and the feelings they evoke. And learn to use those words like a surgeon to guide your submissive to exactly the headspace you want them in.

And remember… its supposed to be fun. 😁

Best wishes -SirHanz

Contrition

So as may of my readers know.. I am a recently discovered switch. I have been exploring my submissive side and have a lady goddess I am exploring it with.

Well… I was writing a post on brats (which I will post later) and talking with her. I thought she may enjoy me being a little (or a lot) bratty. . . . And completely bit off more than I could chew.

Part of my punishment is to write a post detailing how sorry I am for my behavior.

I fucked up.

I was inconsiderate and rude.

I was a brat and deserved to be punished.

I have no excuse for my behavior other than it was out of a desire for attention.

I should not have acted the way I did.

I thought only to tease in the hope of a fun punishment. A funishment.

I went too far.

And I am sooo sorry.

I will not do that again.

I have disappointed my goddess, my beautiful shining one.. and it weighs heavy on my mind.

She who I charish,

She who is my gentle wind,

I have cursed,

And chalanged,

Now brought low,

I beg from afar,

Cast from grace and pleasure,

Into the lonely dark,

A small mercy,

A lantern in the night,

A bit of her light,

Calms my panic,

And lights the path,

To forgiveness.

Saddened by my actions -SirHanz

Support

Woke up feeling groggy with hands slightly swollen from overuse and work. Ah.. the joy of being awake.. wait.. why am I awake? Alarm has not even gone off yet! *groan* *flail* I want tea… but dont want to get up to make it. Sooo… I find myself writing. It helps to get the gears of thought turning.

Let’s see… topic of the day.. how about… support. This is something that is important in any dynamic. A dominant should support and help to build up their submissive. Now.. I am not talking about financial support. Though.. if that’s your thing I dont judge. But no.. I am talking about encouragement and direction. Helping the submissive be an all round better person.

This is mostly done through positive reinforcement. Little rewards and praise for doing healthy things and for finding ways to better themselves. For learning new things or for doing well at tasks the dom sets for them because he/she knows they will benefit the submissive.

But why would a dom go through all that work for their sub? Shouldn’t the sub be serving them? Yes! The sub IS serving them. A better healthier submissive is happier and has more confidence. And all that makes them more skilled and enthusiastic in there submission to their dom.

So find what your submissive is good at.. and make them great. Help them be and feel beautiful. Be their rock through the rough times in life. And help them be a kinder more loveing version of themselves. All these things not only strengthen the bond between you, but also benefit the dom in a myriad of ways.

Best wishes -SirHanz

The beat

Had an interesting conversation with a submissive about setting the mood.

Here is some food for thought.

When you walk into a room after a long day, your tired and want to rest… not in the best headspace.

The lights are low and candlelight fills the room. The room smells like dark amber. Music starts….the beat slowly rises drawing your heart rate with it. Then you feel the touch of leather against your neck.. words whispered against your ear…

It is mental manipulation, forcing memories of past encounters to the surface, drawing feelings of submission from the subconscious and reminding the concious of the good feelings that could be comeing.

Gently drawing the mind down into a submissive headspace and forcing you to let go of all the frustrations of the day. Controlling your emotions and evoking needs.

And all it takes is three well timed words. “Take it off.”

That..

Is dominance.

No fancy things needed.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Remember to Breathe

In this hot humid summer it can feel difficult to breathe sometimes. We get used to it and it becomes almost normal. We forget what it felt like to breathe. What it felt like to feel like we are alive instead of just surviving.

And then fall arives.. and with the first chill morning we step outside and fill our lungs.. with life. It feels achingly good just to breathe, to lay in the sun… to feel cool grass beneath your feet… to smell that first whiff of wood smoke that reminds you of home.

It is on such a morning that our story begins. We find our lady of interest siting on a porch, wraped in a blanket. She is thinking how much it feels like being loved, being wrapped in warmth while the exhilarating chill kisses her cheeks.

Her hair frames her face, braided locks falling just behind her ears and disappearing into the blanket. The sun peaks up over the horizon, reflecting in her eyes. Ah.. such eyes.. some would call them soulful or doe eyes, people commented often on them. But to Morgan they just looked brown.

Morgan smiled as she heard a stirring from inside. Gregory must be awake she thought. She could hear him put a kettle on the stove and laughed to herself at how he was so old fashioned. The smell of jasmine drifted on the currents of crisp air, slowly warming with the riseing sun.

Gregory opened the door and leaned on the door jam, “I’m makeing tea, would you like some love?” Morgan smiled, thinking oh my god.. he called me love! She held up the can of bang energy drink “I think I am covered, thanks.” Gregory chuckled looking at her wraped up in the blanket. “Alright” he smirked “you know.. if you wanted a bang in the morning….” he let his voice trail off as he dipped back inside laughing.

Morgan blushed thinking about the previous night… she had done things she had never even considered before. It had been so naughty and raw she thought, feeling the heat rising between her legs. She shifted beneath the blanket, her hips were sore.. her ass still had a tingling glow.. and she could feel the bite marks on the insides of her thighs. Morgan groaned, remembering the intense pain of those bites. She had never thought that pain like that right at the moment of orgasm would feel so good.

Gregory walked back outside holding his cup of tea, “you feeling alright? Your looking a bit flushed. I was a bit worried last night when you passed out.” Consern and care showed in his eyes framed by thin glasses. “I feel good actually” Morgan said. “Sorry I worried you. I didnt even know it was possible to… well… you know…” Gregory grinned “cum so hard you completely lose consciousness? ” Morgan felt the blush riseing again, “yah… that.”

Gregory knelt next to her chair, slipping his hand under the blanket to hold hers. “I have never seen anything more beautiful than you completely lost in the throws of passion.” Morgan smiled thinking he doesn’t say much.. but when he does… he speaks from the heart.

They stayed like that for a while, his hand in hers. Just watching the world and feeling the closeness. Birds hoping and chirping on the feeder. Morning chill slowly giving way to the warmth of day. At last their drinks were empty and they knew they had to start the day.

Morgan streched, she hated to let go of his hand but knew they couldn’t stay like that all day. “Do you have to work today?” She asked as Gregory stood and set his cup on the table. “Yes, but my schedule is flexible. Right now though…” he licked his lips and scooped her up blanket and all. “I am takeing you back to bed.. ” Morgan sighed laying her head against his shoulder as he carried her inside. His arms felt good, supporting her and holding her to his chest. Again she felt the heat between her thighs as she said “yes sir..”

Gregory layed her gently apon the large four poster bed, there was a post near Morgan’s head and she looked up past the curling dark wood at the ceiling. Then her vision was filled with eyes of dark blue, like storm clouds ready to bring howling winds and rain. Their lips touched and Morgan closed her eyes, her body relaxing as the magic of his kiss sent memories of pleasure to cloud her mind. She loved that moment, when all thoughts disappeared like clearing mist, leaving behind only feeling and sensation.

Gregory stepped back, unfolding the blanket like he was unwrapping a perfectly ripe pear from a gift basket. Carefully, but filled with anticipation and hunger. Morgan lay exposed before him. The adorable freckles on her legs drawing his eyes upward to feast apon the lace of black lingerie. He stood there for a moment, drinking in and filling himself with the vision of her supine apon the blanket, the off white contrasting with her tanned skin makeing it impossible to look anywhere else.

Morgan held out her arms, inviting.. tempting.. beseeching. His strong hands wrapped around her delicate fingers. With soft pressure he turned her, leaving her head to hang from the side of the bed. Morgan swallowed with anticipation, she knew what was coming. She closed her eyes and reached up to find the knot on his robe. She pulled apon the cord, feeling the cloth fall open at her touch.

Soft warmth pressed against her lips. Morgan opened her mouth and drew him inside, she felt him swell against the wet heat of her tounge. She smelled cypress and cedar from the soap of his shower as Gregory took hold of her braids and used them to pin her head back against the side of the bed. Giddy excitement ran through her as she felt him fully hard gliding slowly back and forth across her lips.

Morgan shivered, her mouth watered and she groaned with need. Her lips tightened trying to pull him deeper.

Gregory pulled back just enough to leave the tip of his shaft glistening against her lips. He placed the cord from his robe into her hands and spoke. “I’m going to fuck your throat. If it’s too much.. let go of the cord.” Then again using her braids to pin her head down he thrust forward.

Morgan swallowed, she tried not to gag. He pressed deeper.. she instinctively tryed to pull away but her head was held fast against the sheets. She griped the cord tightly as she felt her neck swell with his thickness. It felt raw.. primal.. to be used for his pleasure. Saliva pooled in her mouth and dripped from her lips. Her eyes watered and tears left wet paths apon her face.

Gregory saw her struggling, he glanced at the cord and saw her white knuckles gripping it tight. He withdrew for a moment, letting her gasp for breath. Then once again pressing past the back of her mouth and into the tightness of her throat. He held himself there, she looked stunning with her chin pressed against his skin. He decided to push her.. force her to let go of the cord. Slowly her face began to turn pink, she swallowed involuntary as her chest began to heave for breath and she began to choke. The sensation as she struggled felt amazing. She was a goddess, pinned to the bed by his cock. Convulsing on his shaft as her body demanded air and her mind demanded pleasure.

Morgan could barely think, her whole world had collapsed to focus on only him. To others.. this rough treatment would look like abuse. But in that moment.. when he placed the cord in her hand, it was a challenge. Without speaking a word he had said ” hold on if you can… I will break you… and force you to submit. ” she held on.. she desperately wanted to prove him wrong, to show him how strong she was. She wanted to win, to succeed.. she needed it. Just as much as she needed him to force her to submit. The overwhelming feeling of relief that came with giving all you have.. struggling with all your might… and then losing. Knowing without a doubt.. that he could brake her… but chooses not to.

Morgan’s back arched, Gregory could see her legs shaking as her face turned red. He felt her body shake as it tryed to draw an impossible breath. Then she let go. The cord feel as if in slow motion. She gasped as he withdrew her eyes opened wide uncaring of the tears and drool. She lay there sucking in great lungfulls of air as Gregory walked calmly around to the other side of the bed.

He grabbed her ankles as she swam in the haze of subspace and pulled her to the side of the bed. He spread her legs and pulled her hips to the edge of the bed, her thighs were coated in her arousal as he leaned over her and cradled her head in his palm. Gregory gently lifted her head, her eyes were unfocused but he knew she could see him. Morgan’s lips trembled as he kissed her. Pulling back slightly he propped her head up with a pillow so she was looking down the length of her body.

Morgan moaned seeing her spread legs and how close to her he was. Inch by inch.. with agonizing slowness she watched in rapped fascination as his shaft disappeared like a slow motion magic trick. She was so wet there was almost no resistance as he buried himself inside of her. His fingers traced the bite marks on her thigh as he twisted his hips to grind against her.

It was too much, her breathing came in shallow gasps as ecstasy clawed at her spine. Her hips bucked against him, guttural cries escaped her lips as she came. Her body slowly relaxed after the intensity of the orgasum. She didnt even realize she had her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Morgen felt him pick up speed, the slapping of flesh sending jolts of pain and pleasure up through the core of her. Morgan’s eyes shot open as she felt his hands apon her breasts. He had hooked his forefinger across the top of her nipple and using his thumb below was both pinching her nipple and using her breasts like handles to thrust harder into her. When had he even gotten her bra off?

Gregory was sweating with the exertion of holding himself back, he wanted to see her come again. He could tell by the way she clenched around him she was close. A growl rumbled deep in his chest as again she threw herself apon him and began to shake. Just as she began to calm he thrust hard against her and dug his thumbnails into her nipples as in great pulses he spent himself deep within her.

Morgan’s mouth opened in a silent scream as the orgasum returned with a vengeance. pain warped and twisted through her chest. Pleasure roared through her like a wildfire, leaving her a scorched ruin at is passing. She didnt know how she had gotten wrapped again in the blanket. Gregory was siting on the bed leaning against the headboard gently running his fingers through her damp hair. He smiled down at her as she realized her head was supported on his thigh. “Welcome back love.” He said. Morgan looked up at him sheepishly “I did it again didnt i?” He bent forward and kissed her forehead “yes.. you were… incandescent.” She closed her eyes and relaxed against him enjoying the feel of him playing with her hair. “Didnt you have to work?” She could feel his body shake as he chuckled. “I called in… apparently… the love of my life passed out.. and I needed to stay home to take care of her.”

Morgan burst out laughing. “You didnt…” his voice quivered as he tryed to contain his mirth “oh.. I totally did. Expect some people asking after your health at the next work picnic.”

She playfully slapped his chest, “you.. are a bad… bad.. man.”

Gregory again bent forward and whispered directly into her ear “and you are a naughty little minx that keeps me from working because I am enraptured by your beauty.”

Best wishes -SirHanz

Campfire storytime

Its story time again.. so gather round the campfire. Everyone take a seat.. no pushing.. there is enough time for everyone to hear.

In a post a bit ago I talked about the more taboo side of bdsm. Edgeplay. And in that post I mentioned that I had a bit of experience.. with bloodplay.. and that I may share that.

Tonight.. I am telling the story.

It starts long ago.. in london.. with the transport of a box…

Wait.. no.. that’s Dracula. 😆 but that’s what you were expecting right? Sorry.. the closest I have ever been to a vampire is my 3rd edition printing of Dracula.

Nope.. no vampires in this story, but I was fascinated by the legends as a child and young adult. I like most legends and myths. But there was something powerful.. about blood. And the connection that was formed between vampires in myths and their donors or victims. So like anything I am interested in.. I learned. I read everything I could get my hands on, from folk tales to ann rice. I wasn’t as much interested in the whole “I’m an immortal undead” aspect of the mythology but the act of giving and takeing the vary life essence of another person and in the process forming a bond with that person I found beautiful.

And then I found bdsm. And I found a submissive girl who was as interested in bloodplay as I was. I will call her “one” because she was my first submissive. It took a while before we ever discussed it as we were both unshure of how the other would react when we brought it up. I forget who broached the subject but once the cat was out of the bag.. we planed a session.

I still remember that night. It was Saturday, at the time I was still an active member of the bondage show and was performing that night. It was a good show, one watched as I flogged a submissive tied to a cross… upside down. The crowd was thinner than usual and I remember thinking they were going to be sorry they missed that night. Halfway through the flogging the poor girl was a mess.. gasping and grinding against the cross, thighs slick, doe eyes spilling black mascara tears down her cheeks. She had a safe word and hadn’t used it. Before the show we had talked and she asked me to push her. She wanted to be pushed to the edge and forced to admit she could take no more. I was hesitant at first but with One’s blessing I agreed.

So I pushed her. First a heavy flogger. Then a chain flogger. She was in rare form. Moaning and crying with need. Every time I saw her legs start to shake building toward an orgasm I would back off. Switching to gentle touches and whispering words of encouragement over the music.

I was loveing it. I do have a sadistic streak after all. Every five minutes I would turn the cross so she wouldn’t pass out from the rush of blood to her head. I drew it out.. made her beg for more. The crowd was eating it up but it was now just me and her in our own little world. She was getting close again and again I stopped. By now she was deep in subspace and the shame of being flogged on stage was just pushing her deeper. I decided it was time to give her the final push she wanted. I brought out the single tail. An inch wide at the base tapered to a 1/8 inch tail over the 5 feet of leather.

She was still begging for more when I let it fly to kiss her ass. Her voice cut off with a gasp. There was a bright pink line slowly swelling on her white skin. It was a full second before what had happened registered. She inhaled.. I knew she was about to scream. The second strike traced across the backs of her thighs just before she opened her mouth.

She screamed. And came. Shuddering and shakeing agenst the smooth wood of the cross. Finaly she moaned.. “red”. I helped her down with the cheers of the crowd echoing off the back of the stage. One of the male subs helped her off the stage and into the back room. I had set up her requested aftercare items there and she had requested to be left by herself after to recover in quiet.

I left a note for her praising her wonderful performance and thanking her for allowing me to show the crowd what a great sub she was. Then I grabbed One and dragged her out the back. We were both turned on and wanted to play. She pressed against me and whispered up into my ear “let’s go home, tonight.. you will taste my life.”

The cab home was a blur of groping hands and frenzied kisses. She ran upstairs as soon as we got to the apartment. I paid for the cab, got my gear from the trunk and slowly approached the door. It swung open to reveal a trail of candles and rose petals leading down the hall. She had been preparing this. I put down my gear and closed the door. Soft cello music drifted from the back room. She knew my tastes and used them to create just the right atmosphere.

I followed the dim candlelight down the hall, drawing it in and letting the excitement build. As I entered the room the dark smell of jasmine and amber incense drifted past my face. One was in the center of the room. Kneeling and blindfolded. In front of her were her white leather cuffs. Her hands were clasped as if in prayer, holding a blade between them. It’s cold steel a beautiful contrast as it nestled between her breasts. She wore a garter belt with stockings and a black g string, and nothing else. I had wondered what she was hiding under her long dress at the club. She had prepared indeed.

I knelt before her and spoke directly into her ear so she could feel the warm breath with my words. “Do you concent to this?” One nodded slowly. I spoke again “say it.” Her voice was steady as she answered “I concent. Use me sir.” That was what I needed. Chains of self control and locks of will crumbled, I said nothing but in my head I could hear the howling of darkness getting closer. Her desire was palpable, filling the air and feeding my own with every breath.

I clasped my hand around hers and twisted the blade handle between her palms. I’m sure she could now feel the edges against the soft flesh of her breasts. Slowly I pulled her hands apart and took the handle of the blade. It was thin… a needle point stiletto with a clear handle and brass guard. “Sit on your hands.” I spoke quietly but I knew she would understand what was coming. She slipped her hands beneath her and waited.. I made her wait for it. I leaned close, breathing in her perfume and feeling her heartbeat quickening as I kissed her neck. I knew the blade in my hand, it was mine after all. I had sharpened it myself and you could shave with it. The edge caught the candlelight as I dragged it slowly downward. One held her breath, shakeing slightly as it bit into the tender skin between her breasts. Two thin red lines appeared after the blade was free. Ruby droplets of life glittering like gems in the soft light. I caught a droplet on my finger and one took a gasping breath. “Please… more.”

I lifted my finger and painted the blood across her lips. She looked so erotic. Crimson looking almost black in the dim light glistening wet apon her lips. I kissed her. Clove, copper and iron. I will never forget the pure erotic bliss of that kiss as she moaned into my mouth. I layed her backwards onto the carpet drawing her hands up above her head. The white leather wrapped around her wrists and I tied them to one of the feet of the bed allowing her to stretch out her legs.

I laid the blade against her collar, touching with just the tip. “Dont move.” I said surprised at the excitement in my voice. “Yes sir” one said, her voice was thick with arousal. I dragged the needle tip down across and around the outside of her breast. Her breath became shallow as it traced across her belly.. lower.. past her garter.

I carefully slid the edge between her skin and the garter belt. A twist and the lace parted. I rolled down the black stockings exposing the soft skin of her legs. I left her like that as I went to the kitchen and got a bowl filled with ice. I placed the blade in the ice and returned to the room. One was flushed with anticipation, not knowing why I left the room. I kneeled between her legs and lifted the knife. The flat of the blade slid across her hip and under the string of her panties. The cold was a shock, she jerked thinking I had cut her hip. I flicked the edge sideways slicing the string and let her feel that there was no pain. I pulled aside the fabric covering her sex and It was then that she realized what I had done. “Oh.. you basta” One’s voice cut off as I thrust two fingers into her dripping wetness.

Her hips bucked as she groaned softly, I layed my shin across her thighs and held her down as I worked my fingers slowly in and out. Each time makeing her shake as my thumb brushed her clit. She came quickly but i was not nearly done with her. I pulled my fingers from her and stood leaving the knife in the ice. I undressed, peeling myself out of the leather pants and loose shirt I wore to the show. I kneeled between her legs and let my hardness rest against the cleft of wet heat.

I lifted the blade from the bowl and chuckled as she squirmed trying to get me inside her. I placed the chilled blade in the curve between her neck and shoulder, holding her chin with my other hand to keep her still. She moaned and suckled at one of my fingers as the edge made a shallow cut about two inches long. Blood beaded in the cut, welling upward with steady pressure.

I removed my hand from her chin and slid the blindfold off, I wanted her to see. Her eyes were rolling with lust and need and it took a few seconds for her to focus on me in the low light. When I was shure she was watching I spoke “life for life” and ran the blade across my forearm. The cut burned like fire, her eyes widened as blood dripped onto her chest. I could see her eyes follow the droplets as they fell.

One was so engaged with seeing my blood she must have forgotten the position she was in. I lowered my arm to her greedy lips and bent to run my tongue along the cut between neck and shoulder. As I felt the burn of her mouth on my arm I thrust inside her. The anticipation and taste of life coursing through my mind was heat and pain and pleasure all at once. She locked her legs around my hips pulling me into her with animal need.

My self control deserted me as the beast within came to the fore. Growling with carnal lust I yanked my arm from her lips and pressed my bloody mouth to hers. The thought of our life essence mixing in passionate kiss was to much for us both. The feeling of intimacy and connection alsmot burned. The pleasure was a storm of erotic feelings as we both came.

I will skip the boring clean up, shower and band aids, a bandage for my arm. Giggling as we scrubbed the carpet to get the stains before they set. Laughing about how we should buy red towels.

It was one of the most intensely erotic experiences of my life.

I hope you have enjoyed the story, now its bed time.. go to bed and sleep now that you are all pent up. 😏 yup.. I may be a switch now but that doesn’t mean I am not still a sadist.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Protective vs. Jealousy

As I continue my journey exploring my submissive side I have discovered a lot about myself. Mostly good, some… well.. it depends on the person I guess.

First a little background, i have never been a jealous man. I am definitely protective, but not jealous. I always viewed it like this.. if you trust someone, there is no need for jealousy. And if you dont.. maybe it’s time to reexamine the relationship or talk to the person and try to re establish that trust. And as for being protective.. yah. Maybe even over protective. But no one.. hurts my people.

And then i started exploring submission. And i felt jealousy. I wanted her attention and affection. And I didnt want her to give it to someone else. I really didnt like feeling that. And I didnt like that I had the feeling in the first place. It was so unlike me, here was someone I trust.. and I was jealous! Why? I struggled to understand but it finally came to me.

That’s part of the deal. When you give yourself to someone like that… you CRAVE them. You want to drown in their attention and their affection is like a drug. Even the little things you hold dear. Every “good job” or “you look nice” is like winning an award. Every “thank you” or “you are special to me” is like a shot of pure endorphins. I am hooked. And if the person your addicted to is giving out what you crave to someone else.. yah.. jealousy. Its petty and small. And it’s not like me at all.. unless apparently it is.

So yes.. I am jealous. It’s not the “pay attention to me or else” kind of jealousy. But it is the “I wish that was me” kind. Something for me to work on I am shure. But at least now I understand it.

Best wishes -SirHanz

Tea ceremony

A bdsm version of the Japanese tea ceremony.

Step 1. The formal invitation. The dom should make a formal invitation inviting the sub to have tea. Included in the invasion should be a list of things the sub is to do before attending.

A quick shower to wash, then a bath to relax.

Put on simple makeup and light perfume.

Dress in silk. Whatever style you like.

Hair should be pulled back or kept up to expose the nape of the neck.

No shoes.

Step 2. The waiting room. No talking. The The sub presents themself to the dom, bowing and holding out the invitation with both hands. The dom inspects her to show their approval for the sub following instructions. With the minimum of movement the dom takes the invitation from the submissives hands and motions to the bowl of water. This is the ritual cleansing. The submissive washes their hands, this is symbolic of washing away all thoughts other than of the tea ceremony. The submissive again bows and presents their hands to the dom. Slowly the dom ties their hands together with rope, then leads them into the tea room.

Step 3. Preparation. The sub sits at the low table and looks at the arrangement of flowers that the dom has placed to the left of the table.

The dom sits across from them and carefully washes the utensils and arranges them in front of the sub. The dom places the hot tea kettle to the right of the utensils next to the tea.

Step 4. Making the tea. The dom sits across from the sub and gestures for them to continue. Each movement, from picking up a utensil to putting tea in the cup must be deliberate and smooth. The hot water is poured over the powered green tea and mixed with the wisk. The sub then cleans the utensils in the bowl of water and drys them, placing them back on the table in the same order.

Step 5. Serving tea. The submissive bows and holds the bowl of tea in both hands extending it out for the dom to take. The dom takes the bowl and inspects both bowl and tea. If it was well made the dom may proffer a comment. They then rotate the bowl and slip the tea. The dom may or may not comment on the taste. The dom then hands the bowl back to the sub and they are allowed to sip as well. The bowl is passed back and forth untill the tea is gone. The sub then cleans and drys the bowl and sets it aside.

Step 6. Shibari and tea. The dom then rises and ties the submissive into the seiza position with arms bound behind. The dom then makes another bowl of tea and they are free to speak informally as the dom sips from the bowl. The sub may choose to ask for a sip of tea during the conversation. If they do ask the dom may pour a bit of tea into the palm of their hand and allow the sub to drink from it. Or they may dip fingers in the tea and offer them to the sub.

Step 7. Finishing. When the second bowl is empty the utensils and bowl are cleaned and put away. The sub is then unbound and allowed to stand and strech. The submissive then bows to the dom and thanks them for the tea. What happens after that is up to you.

Best wishes-SirHanz